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Soul Sister Sundays

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With Bri from Clean Shred

For the past 2 and a half years, Bri has been building her business – Clean Shred Transformation and Performance Centre. What started as an online program, quickly grew to a face-to-face program and small group training gym and is now a big group training gym, with a smoothie bar, supplement store, yoga studio (totally where I do my yoga just quietly), infrared sauna and holistic health program for every single member. Bri’s passion is teaching people how to live healthy, happy and fulfilling lives where they feel great every day. She loves all things health, the ocean, nature, food and her beautiful little dog Indie.

 A soul sister to me is….

Someone who is supportive, encouraging and brings good energy to your soul. I know when I leave after hanging out with my girlfriends (soul sisters) I always have a big grin on my face on the way home and feel so good.

My favourite things to do with my soul sisters are…

Go on big walks by the water to have breaky. Sit on the couch in our trackies and have green teas and the occasional night out for a boogie and some laughs.

How do you maintain quality friendships with so much on?

I think your true friends are going to be your true friends forever even if you don’t see them every weekend. Sometimes its hard to get everyone together with busy schedules and more responsibility but I don’t find it hard to keep in touch with my friends, it sort of just happens automatically because they are like family to me. If I haven’t seen one in a while it always feels like we never missed a day when we get together. When you want something you’ll prioritise it and make it happen even if it’s hard sometimes and that’s how you know who your true soul sisters are.

What are your favourite traits that your soul sisters have?

Being encouraging and supportive.

Good listeners.

Always being there when you need them. I know my friends have been there for me when I have needed them the most without me ever having to ask.

What makes your soul light up?

Seeing people make positive changes in their lives and step out of their comfort zone. There is nothing more satisfying than the smile on someone’s face when they say they can’t do something and then with some support/encouragement they achieve what they thought they couldn’t and surprise themselves. SO many young girls lack confidence and mentally hold themselves back with a fear of failing. Seeing them transform into a confident person definitely lights up my soul.

In my personal life swimming in the ocean, exploring nature, sitting on the beach with a book, playing with my dog and going for walks with my partner or friends are about all I need to keep my soul lit up.  Plus I, like Hollie, have a business that I absolutely love waking up to work for every single day.

What causes are you supporting at the moment?

My whole life is devoted to improving people’s health and wellbeing on a daily basis. This is definitely my number one cause. It’s not all about a great bod or a 6 pack. It’s really about the snowball affect it has on your whole life. Sleeping well, feeling energetic, feeling fit and confident, fueling your body with good foods, loving yourself and in turn being someone who everybody wants to be around. This is probably more normal for a lot of people reading your blog but for so many people feeling tired and struggling through everyday just surviving is the norm.

Another cause I support is cancer research. Like Hollie, cancer has touched my family far too much and anything I can do to help find cures and new treatments is something I will support. I donate weekly to cancer research. It’s not a huge amount but if everyone supported these causes even with something small it would go such a long way. Cancer is a subject that affects almost everyone at some point in their life.

Connect with Bri:

Inst: @brianacleanshred

Facey: https://www.facebook.com/cleanshred/

Email: info@cleanshred.com.au

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Why Self Love is Far From Selfish

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I just woke up from a 12 hour sleep. It is 10am on a Monday, and I can’t even tell you how amazing it felt to sleep in. After waking up, I made myself a delicious smoothie bowl, sat and ate it in the sun, ran myself a hot bath and am just now sitting down in front of my laptop with a herbal tea and essential oils diffusing. Do I feel guilty about not starting my working day until 12pm? Hell no, I feel freaking awesome!

It has taken me a long time to stop feeling guilty about putting myself first. I am a reformed people-pleaser and conflict-avoider. One of those people that just likes everyone else to feel happy and comfortable – even if that meant putting my own health and sanity as secondary to everybody else.

And this isn’t a rare phenomenon. I see it all the time with my beautiful clients too. Doing everything they can to keep their family, friends and partners happy – but when it comes to their own happiness, feeling guilty for even considering putting themselves first.

It is time for this to stop.

How can we possibly be the best friend, partner, parent, son/daughter and sibling if we are not the healthiest, happiest and best version of ourself?

And how can we be the healthiest, happiest and best version of ourself when we feel bad about saying ‘no’ to people, feeling like we are letting them down – but having no concern when it comes to letting OURSELVES down.

Every time we say ‘yes’ to something when deep down we really want to be saying no, we are telling ourselves subliminally that we are not good enough. And we all do it – you are invited to a social event, with all of your favourite people, but you have had a seriously full week and would prefer to stay in. But you don’t want to say that to your friends as you will feel bad or like you are letting them down. So you say yes, go along and the entire night you are only half there because there is a huge part of you waiting for that minute you can bail and go home to bed.

Sound familiar?

I received a message last week from a beautiful woman experiencing just this. She knows that in order for her to really improve her health and wellbeing (both physical and mental) she has to start saying no to things, and prioritise rest. What she got back from her friends was that she was acting selfish for putting herself first.

If wanting to be the healthiest and happiest version of yourself is really ‘selfish’ then sign me up! But I genuinely think it is the most selfless thing you can do for yourself.

My beautiful friend Melissa Ambrosini says this all the time, and it is a lesson I remind myself and my clients every single day:

IF IT’S NOT A HELL YES, IT’S A NO!

Learn to say no without guilt. Easier said than done, right? But trust me when I say that the more you practice this, the easier it will become. And your loved ones will understand!

Put yourself first. If you would rather sleep for an extra couple of hours because your body just needs it, then sleep. And enjoy the sleep. This is no time for guilt. OWN that you are putting your health and happiness first.

Notice any time you are saying yes to someone or something because you feel like you SHOULD rather than genuinely WANTING TO. There is a big difference. Start to slowly condense the ‘shoulds’ in your life and notice how much space opens up for you.

Space for rest, play and love. Space for sleep, relaxation and movement. Or space to go out and be social if that is what you genuinely WANT to do.

Think about one thing you have planned this week that you have said ‘yes’ to when deep down, you know you should have said no to. Let that sink in. And next time something similar pops up, you know what to do.

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Soul Sister Sundays

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With Jeanette Del Zio from JDZ Designs

I first met Jeanette at a wellness event hosted by a mutual friend of ours, Melissa Ambrosini

I found it so interesting how Jeanette was incorporating her passion for health and wellness, into her business as an interior designer. Her ‘Love Your Space’ initiative is all about promoting a balanced and healthy lifestyle across all aspects of your life – including how you interact with the spaces you inhabit – both at work, and at home! How cool is that?

A soul sister to me is….

A girlfriend who lights me up from within! She is almost like the ying to my yang!! Supportive, loving and inspiring but also free from judgement. To me it is a friendship that is always there, it exists without expectation, doubt or fear. A friend who you can truly call a soul sister is the best kind around and you know they are a keeper!

My favourite things to do with my soul sisters are…

Laugh, have deep and meaningful conversations about everything and anything and share wisdom!

How do you maintain quality friendships with so much on?

My friendships are so important to me, especially my soul sisters because, I don’t have any sisters of my own, so despite a hectic schedule, I maintain the friendship through connecting! If I am thinking of them I’ll send a funny photo an email or calling them up! The best part about it is, we always pick up where we left off.

What are your favourite traits that your soul sisters have?

Loyalty, self awareness and a strong sense of self, love, confidence and drive.

What makes your soul light up?

This one is a tough question. Yoga but also my relationship with my partner – he is not a girl so I’ll coin him soul mate. But, in the spirit of the sisterhood it is always sharing silly jokes with my soul sisters around a table or circle being ourselves. I also share a very close bond with my cousin who is definitely my soul brother and hanging out with him is always the best!!

What causes are you supporting at the moment?

I am not tied to any in particular but I do and have supported the Leukemia Foundation and their research to helping those suffering.

Connect with Jeanette

Inst: @jdzdesigns_

Facey: https://www.facebook.com/JDZDesigns/

Email: info@jdzdesigns.com.au

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Taking your relationship to the next level

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When’s the wedding? Why aren’t you pregnant yet? Has uncomfortable questioning gone too far?

When someone finds out my partner and I have been together for 8 years, I can almost guarantee the next question will be:

“So, where’s the ring?” *stares heavily focused on my left hand*….

No matter how many times I’m asked the question, it always leaves me with a level of discomfort.

Not because I really want to get married and am waiting with bated breath for my significant other to pop the question. Quite the opposite in fact.

I am actually super content with our relationship as it is. Will we get married one day? Yes. Have I planned the wedding down to the floral arrangements on hidden Pinterest boards? Absolutely.

Will I be devastated if it doesn’t happen in the next 12 months?

No way ho-zay!

I love that people are as excited as we are about our relationship and the fact we are getting married one day. What is more challenging, is feeling the need to make excuses as to why we aren’t engaged yet when the fact of the matter is, we just aren’t ready for that step.

And that is okay!

Does it mean there is something wrong with our relationship? Absolutely not! Does it mean that secretly, deep down, I am just putting on a ‘brave face’ while hoping to God he proposes on our Europe trip this year? NO!

I see the looks on people’s faces when I answer ‘It will happen when it happens…’. Almost always there appears to be a level of sadness for me. Why is that?

I have noticed a lot of my recently married friends are experiencing the same level of uncomfortable questioning – this time, “When’s the baby?”

How do you answer that question when you’re not planning on ever having kids? Or struggling with IVF? Or when children just aren’t on the radar yet?

It got me thinking – surely there is another way to show your support to a couple and their relationship.

Instead of asking about the next expected ‘stage’ in the relationship, maybe we could rephrase the questions and focus on their relationship for whatever stage it is at.

Instead of asking ‘Where’s the ring?’, why not ask ‘What are your plans as a couple for the next 12 months?’

Rather than asking ‘When’s the baby?’ ask ‘So how is married life? What’s your favourite thing about being married?’

And that goes for singles too! Rather than asking ‘So why are you still single?’ flip it to ‘What’s the best thing about being single?’

Let’s support people for the stage of life they are at and take away the unnecessary pressure for ‘progress’ – so long as they are happy, whatever relationship stage they’re at really isn’t that important, is it?

I’d love to hear your thoughts! What is the most uncomfortable question you have been asked about your relationship? How do you respond? Please share your stories in the comments below.

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