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How am I so happy all the time?

 

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Yesterday I got a parking ticket. And I laughed. And then I messaged my girl Emmily, and she replied saying “I got one too! Two days ago! And I laughed as well! Could be so much worse than $108 right?”

And that was exactly how I felt too. I saw the ticket, smiled to myself and thought: serves me right. That’s what I get for being cocky and parking all day in a 2 hour zone (Em and I have been doing this for months now, ‘testing’ the Universe and the power of our minds. Looks like the joke was on us this week!)

How many of you can honestly say if you received a parking ticket it would make you smile?

I know it sounds totally bizarre, but I have done SO MUCH work on my mindset – constantly, as in every damn day – that when ‘bad’ things like this happen, they don’t shake me up anywhere near as much as they used to. The smile wasn’t forced – it was totally subconscious. I have re-wired my brain to see the positives even in the annoying situations life throws our way.

When people reach out to me on social media, I am often complimented on how inspiring my positivity is – how they wish they could be more like me. How am I so happy all the time? I feel so grateful I am able to inspire people through my happy disposition but, honestly, anyone can do what I am doing. Yes it requires work, and no it does not mean that things will be rainbows and unicorns all the time.

Actually, on that. The most positive people I know in my life, me included, are so damn in touch with our emotions that we REGULARLY cry, express anger and frustration, feel defeated and tired, and all of the not-so-seemingly positive emotions we have been trained to believe are ‘bad’ for us.

It still surprises me to this day when clients sit opposite me and tell me they don’t cry. How is that even a thing?! I cry weekly (pretty sure there was a stage it was daily, but I have made improvements!)

Crying, to many of my clients, is seen as ‘negative’ and ‘weak’ – which couldn’t be FURTHER from the truth. There is a HUGE misconception that the happiest people in the world never cry, never feel anger and only ever walk around in a bubble of pink fairy floss and rainbows, blowing kisses to the moon and hugging trees. While, yes, that is an ideal day for me, that is not my daily reality.

I get moody. Just last night I snapped at my partner for making me a beautiful dinner because I wanted to make it. Who even does that?

But you know what the difference is between myself, and perhaps people who are less in touch with their emotional state?

I caught myself mid-mood and stopped it. And cuddled up to him and apologised for my mood. Then I sat and journaled it out and realised the issue wasn’t about Trent making me a beautiful meal, it was that I wanted to prove to him I was worthy of his love by cooking for him. And THAT is my own shit to sort out, not his.

That story is a round about way of saying – we all have our shit. Our stuff that emerges be it from suppressed childhood experiences, lessons learned subconsciously from watching our parents, and stories we tell ourselves that become fact (if I put on weight, no one is going to find me attractive, and I am unloveable, for instance).

The people who realise this – and can catch themselves carrying their shit through life, playing the victim and “woe is me” mentality and go – no, I am going to take responsibility for my shit and start to change – are the ones who start seeing positives in ALL situations.

Even the most unimaginably sad, traumatic situations carry lessons for us. And if we embrace our emotions through these experiences, ALLOW us to feel them fully, take away the lessons and move on with a new lease on life then guess what? You are doing the best you can bloody do and chances are you are feeling as good as you can about yourself.

So how am I such a positive person all the time?

Because life is short and I want to spend it smiling and laughing, so I only spend my time and energy in things I enjoy. This isn’t rocket science people, it is actually pretty simple:

  • The work I do in the world lights me up. I wake up feeling excited to work! I want to make a positive impact in the world and everything I do is committed to achieving this each day. I have PURPOSE (so important!)
  • The people I am surrounded with, family and friends alike, bring me such joy. I only put energy and effort into relationships that make me feel GOOD.
  • I am in a 9 year relationship with the greatest man I have ever known (and that is a story in itself – relationships take WORK people, and it is very much two-sided!) LOVE is so important to a positive life.
  • I only eat food that makes me feel good – sometimes that is a whole pizza AND ice cream, sometimes it is a couple of cocktails with my friends, most of the time it is a very clean vegetarian diet (been without meat in my diet for 12 years now).
  • I only exercise in ways I really love – I stopped training at the gym for 2 YEARS because it made me feel shit. Nature walks are my current obsession.
  • I laugh every day (the highest energetic vibrational frequency we can be) and I don’t take myself, or life, seriously.
  • I don’t watch the news. Ever. (Which is ironic as I studied journalism at Uni.) Or any movie that feels yucky – so no horror, or violence. That is a new one for me, and has changed my life for the better in a lot of ways.
  • I FEEL my emotions as they come up, fully. Ain’t no suppression here. I cry as much as I laugh. I yell into pillows when I am angry and journal my little heart out every single morning.
  • I practice gratitude religiously, to train my mind to look for the good. I do it every day, multiple times a day.
  • I practice random acts of kindness weekly – this is a newbie I love doing. I pay for a stranger’s coffee or meal (without them knowing) – just the simple act of giving back leaves me feeling good for days.
  • I give my time at no charge to causes close to me and my family (currently working alongside Macquarie University Hospital to reinstate a Chair position in my grandfather’s name).
  • I am so conscious of my thoughts and words: phrases like “I can’t” no longer exist in my vocab. The simple act of changing the words I think and speak has lead to SO MANY amazing advances in my life, it is crazy (including financial abundance – stop saying you can’t afford things people!)

Gosh I could go on and on. So you can see there are MULTIPLE contributing factors to me living my positive life. And it is all genuine! I feel so freaking happy ALL THE TIME. The people I am spending my time with feel the same (it really matters where your energy goes guys). Surround yourself with happiness and you will really feel it. But it won’t come to you unless you put in the work. Every damn day.

So the next time you get a parking ticket – you’ll smile and think of me!

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What’s all this ‘masculine/feminine energy’ talk?

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The wellness world has cycles. When I first stepped into learning all about wellness, it was 5 years ago and my Dad had been diagnosed with cancer. At that time, juicing your greens and chia seed puddings were really NEW. Like, not at all mainstream. Chia seeds were bloody hard to find, and I remember people double taking my green juices as I downed them. Now no one looks twice. It’s mainstream. Which is freaking awesome if you ask me.

There have been multiple ‘wellness’ trends becoming mainstream lately: everything from meditation and the apps you can use, to yoga retreats, to natural beauty. People are becoming more and more conscious about living their happiest and healthiest lives, and it makes my freaking heart SING! The health food aisles in supermarkets are expanding, About Life chains are popping up left right and centre and no one bats an eyelid when I talk about my penchant for oils and crystals and the chakras. I BLOODY LOVE IT.

A biggie in the wellness community at present is ‘tapping into’ our masculine and feminine energies. Our yin and yang (not a typo guys, it isn’t YING contrary to popular belief!)

I started hearing talk about all this ‘masculine feminine stuff’ about a year ago. And truth be told, at the time it just seemed a bit far out for me – I didn’t resonate with it. I know now it is because I wasn’t READY for that part of my journey. But recently I HAVE been ready and in learning more about these innate energies and states of being, I have been able to really enhance my life in so many ways.

So what the fuck are you talking about Hollie? What do you MEAN masculine and feminine?

I get it. When we first hear these terms it sounds like we are talking about males and females. But that’s the first misconception with these energies – they are NOT gendered. In fact, in my life I have operated from a far more masculine stance than I have feminine. I have men in my life that are more feminine than masculine. And with this in mind, it is neither good nor bad. But when you become AWARE of which energy you are naturally inclined to operate more from, you are able to swing back to the opposite (the masculine/yang or the feminine/yin) to counteract the overstimulation of that initial energy.

Stay with me guys, this stuff is freaking mind blowing.

Masculine looks like….

Constantly striving, running on adrenaline, knowing everything, determination, being driven and successful, ‘busyness’, exercise like weights and running, logic, decisiveness, reason, power, survival.

You can see that these states of being are neither good nor bad. They just are. Operating from your masculine means you get shit done. It is that state of being when you just need to put your head down and do the damn work. When you need to make decisions and call the shots. THAT is when you tap into your masculine.

Masculine energy can lend itself to high productivity, but naturally, it also lends itself to overexertion and burnout. Where are my type A’s at? Fatigue, anxiety, perfectionism? All very much stemming from that masculine energy.

Starting to make sense?

Feminine looks like…

Rest, love, yoga, compassion, kindness, space to do nothing at all, nature, calm, quiet, emotional awareness, organised, intuition, going within, nourishing, creativity, sensuality (this is a BIG lesson for me currently).

See the difference?

When you are operating from your feminine energy (remember this goes for males AND females) – your are softer, steadier, more considered and gentler. You have created space to rest and tap into your innate wisdom, rather than rushing from task to task, to do list to to do list (now that’s a mouthful!)

When our feminine energy is TOO overactive, we can become indifferent, unable to make decisions and passive. We allow others to control our lives rather than taking life under our own wing. We care about what others might think.

Do you see how these energies are both as important as one another in our lives? There will ALWAYS be one we are more inclined to naturally gravitate towards: for me, it is very much a masculine energy. Striving, pushing, working hard to achieve. And it has served me the WORLD of good in running my business, for example. However I have become increasingly aware of my need to tap more into my feminine: with my clients in our sessions, as I study energy work, with my partner, with my friends. Operating from one energy constantly is damn exhausting!

How do I know which energy I am operating from?

Chances are if you have read this far, you know just by reflecting on how the above traits apply to you. You will start catching yourself when you acknowledge where the driving force of a decision has been made. Like anything, once you are AWARE of the energy, it becomes easy.

For me, I started to really notice majority of my decisions were very masculine and driven. And I didn’t want it to rule my life anymore. I was craving softening, and solace, and quiet. So I started to tap into my feminine more.

Here are a few things I have done recently to really tap into my feminine energy:

  • Consciously choose clothes that make me feel beautiful and sexy (rather than just dressing for comfort)
  • Wearing a full face of (all natural) makeup even when I am just heading out to the shops (playing with my feminine sensuality more – and being totally unashamed by it!)
  • Solo walks in nature, hugging trees and watching waterfalls (literally, I have become THAT girl)
  • Lathering my body in coconut oil infused with essential oils just because it FEELS good
  • Journalling my heart and soul rather than my mind – connecting more with my intuition
  • Taking full days off for nothingness – EVEN when there are emails to be done (they will always be there!)

You will know in your heart what is right for you. If you are craving more masculine energy, go for a run, or start speaking up more at work. Play with it. That’s a big part of my journey actually – not taking any of this too seriously. It is all a part of bettering yourself and your life so you damn well want to be having fun while doing it!

I’m curious – what is your experience with the masculine and feminine? How is your journey unfolding? Share with me in the comments below…

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Doing the SOUL work

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Today I am going to share with you guys something that leaves me feeling a tad vulnerable, a lot open and 100% REAL (which is so important).

For the last 18 months or so I have been really stepping into a spiritual ‘soul’ path. You may have noticed in my Instagram stories, or maybe you are a client of mine who has experienced my spiritual connection first-hand through oracle readings.

It has not been something I am totally openly sharing, because I find it is a path I am happy to journey alone – spirituality is a very personal experience, I have come to learn.

However what I am also realising is that people WANT to talk about this stuff. We are interested in the angel numbers, oracle cards, free-writing and journaling until our mind quietens and our soul speaks. And it would only ever be from a place of FEAR where I don’t share the truth behind my spirituality and how integral it is to my daily life, and the life I am living today.

FEAR being – what will people think of me? Just another ‘hippy non-sense talker’? Would it effect my credibility? Would people question my intelligence when I start speaking more openly about intuition or divine timing?

I realise now that I don’t want to hold back from that place of fear anymore. Spirituality and soul work is such an important part of what I do and the person that I am. If that doesn’t resonate with someone, then that is okay. If you are reading this now and it isn’t for you, that is also okay. But it IS important to me, and this is why I am sharing this today.

I have listed below  some of the key spiritual practices I have in my life, why I do them, what the practices have lead to and how you can incorporate them into your life, should you wish.

Angel Numbers

My connection to ‘angel numbers’ began in my former life – working a corporate job in an industry that didn’t light me up. I knew I wanted ‘out’ but was too fearful to do anything about it. I started seeing 11:11 constantly. That pattern then lead to MORE number patterns: 2:22, 5:55 – it was almost laughable. My colleagues would role their eyes when I proclaimed another number pattern aloud – like I was watching the clock on purpose. But I wasn’t. And I knew there was something more to it.

So I took it on myself to research what these patterns meant. And 3 years later I continue to receive guidance through number patterns. What started as just patterns related to time, has developed into number plates, bank statements and receipts – anywhere you can see numbers, I am receiving patterns and messages.

If you notice a repeating number pattern occurring in your life – look it up! It’s called Google, peeps! Type in the number and the words ‘angel number’ and read the message. Feel what it means to you. If it continues occurring, it may mean the lesson still needs work. I also have Doreen Virtue’s book on Angel Numbers that I can reference at any time.

Numbers for me are always a nudge that I am on the right path and doing the right things. At the moment, my numbers are 888 and 0000 (specific, right?) Play with them, smile when you see them and know that you are being guided. Always.

Oracle Cards

These are not to be confused with Tarot, or telling the future. My love affair with oracle cards is a relatively new one and one I am now able to incorporate into my sessions with clients, which I am so grateful for. I have done oracle readings for clients that leave us BOTH in goosebumps and tears.

I have 6 decks now, all with their own meanings, and each time I intuitively pick what is the right one for a person, or myself, that day. I use the oracles as a guide rather than as an answer. I don’t live my life by their messages, but I do ask for guidance and often receive exactly what I need to hear (whether it’s what I WANT to hear is a very different thing!)

People often ask me how to use oracle decks in their own life – I say, find a deck that captures your attention. Don’t just pick a deck that everyone else has, or that I have used for you. And then just play. Shuffle the deck. Ask questions. But don’t take the messages for gospel. Remember that they are just added guidance you can use any time you feel stuck or unsure.

I use mine every morning as part of my morning routine and just love all of the guidance they continue to give me.

Meditation

It has taken me some years to commit to a regular meditation practice: struggles of ‘turning off’ my thoughts, and feeling uncomfortable in silence, have lead me to giving up in the past, over and over again.

I am so grateful to have pushed through the discomfort, as my regular meditation practice is something that I can turn to any time I want to turn up the volume of my intuition. Practicing stilling and quieting my mind allows for my intuition to speak up loud and clear. And the more we practice this, the louder that intuition becomes.

Journaling

“When we quieten the mind, the soul speaks.” I love this zen quote, and it has been entirely true in my journey. Journaling is another non-negotiable daily practice I have. My history of anxiety, and not being able to turn off my racing thoughts, has lead to a commitment to journaling like never before. Every single morning, without fail, after I quieten my mind in meditation – I open my journal and write. Whatever falls onto the page, I know is supposed to be there. Sometimes it is pages and pages of words that don’t make much sense. Other times it’s a poem, or a story, or just a few lines. Whatever it is, I know it is my soul speaking to me, quieting down my racing mind, and allowing me to start the day clear-headed.

Nature Time

The older I get, the more my connection to Mother Earth strengthens. Holy smokes I love my nature time. About 5 times a week I aim to get out into nature – I am grateful to live right by a state forest – and so take myself out for an hour, podcast in my ears, walking through the trees. I am often walking off the paths and make my own way – and yes, I even hug a few trees along the way. Nature is spirit, just like we are. We cannot physically survive without nature. Literally, the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat – it is EVERYTHING to our survival and yet so many of us lose that connection with it.

My time in nature is my time to slow down, to really connect and ground myself and just be 100% me. And for some of you that may sound hippy, but to me it makes total sense. Nature is our survival. If we can’t show it love, then we can’t really show much else love can we?

Gratitude

The word ‘grateful’ has become an innate part of my vocabulary. I honestly say how grateful I am for things more than I can count each day. Practicing thanks does that – the more you open your eyes to what you are thankful for, the more you HAVE to be thankful for. It is science and the nature of metaphysics, yet so often we get caught up in what we DON’T have (and thus, the cycle continues).

Tell someone – right now – that you are grateful for them. See how it makes you AND them feel. Write your three gratitudes daily. Speak them out loud as you shower. And especially on your hardest, most challenging days – this is when the time calls for giving thanks more than ever.

Sage and palo santo

I used to sage my bedroom and home office religiously, to maintain a positive, neutral energy and repel anything negative or heavy. Especially working as a coach, in one on one scenarios it is paramount I protect my energy, given the nature of topics in my sessions (everything from mental health, eating disorders and suicide, to sexual assault and rape, to death and grief, and the list goes on). I am so incredibly grateful to do the work I do, and to offer guidance and healing to those that need it – however I must also guard myself from energies that do not serve me and are not mine to carry.

I didn’t realise how important this was starting out as a coach. And then after any back to back sessions, I would be zapped on the couch for hours with migraines and needing to sleep the day away. I look back now and smile – I was so naive! My energy was completely zonked through no fault of anyone but my own.

Today I use palo santo (or holy wood) to smoke my client space before anyone enters it. I ask Archangel Michael for guidance and protection. And then I do the same after the session. I also soak in epsom salts regularly to really cleanse my energy.

If you are interested in starting out, go to Tree of Life and start with sage which is super gentle. There are wonderful how to guides online.

Chakra healing

The most amazing and also completely unexpected occurrence has been happening in my sessions over the last 3 weeks. I have been channeling chakra blockages in certain clients. Stay with me guys, it was more confusing for me than you would know! I have been taking on physical ailments my clients have been experiencing (sore throats, headaches and cramps, for example) and each time I ask the client if they have been experiencing the physical symptom I am feeling, they say yes. I am then intuitively guided to direct them to a chakra (energy) point in their body that needs work. I am not (yet) studied in how to clear these blockages however watch this space…because these instances have lead me to realise my work has JUST begun. My business as a wellness coach is evolving into something far more than I could ever have anticipated and it is exciting and nerve racking all at once. I cannot wait to share with you all what is in store.

There is so much more I could share and write on this – I stopped writing at 2,000 words when I realised this is becoming more than just a blog post. In my daily spiritual life I use essential oils, crystals, moon rituals, colour therapy, kinesiology, gosh the list goes on and on. Please let me know if this resonated with you and if you want to learn more. It may just become an ebook if the demand is there!

Thank you for being open enough to read this. I really want to ‘normalise’ the part of us that craves spiritual or soul connection. Wellbeing after all is MIND, BODY AND SOUL. And if I cannot talk freely about my OWN soul journey, then I’m not really doing my job am I?

I would really love to hear your thoughts on this one guys. Did it resonate with you? Did it make you uncomfortable? Why? What are your spiritual practices?

Sending you love ALWAYS,

Hollie xxxx

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