Yesterday I got a parking ticket. And I laughed. And then I messaged my girl Emmily, and she replied saying “I got one too! Two days ago! And I laughed as well! Could be so much worse than $108 right?”
And that was exactly how I felt too. I saw the ticket, smiled to myself and thought: serves me right. That’s what I get for being cocky and parking all day in a 2 hour zone (Em and I have been doing this for months now, ‘testing’ the Universe and the power of our minds. Looks like the joke was on us this week!)
How many of you can honestly say if you received a parking ticket it would make you smile?
I know it sounds totally bizarre, but I have done SO MUCH work on my mindset – constantly, as in every damn day – that when ‘bad’ things like this happen, they don’t shake me up anywhere near as much as they used to. The smile wasn’t forced – it was totally subconscious. I have re-wired my brain to see the positives even in the annoying situations life throws our way.
When people reach out to me on social media, I am often complimented on how inspiring my positivity is – how they wish they could be more like me. How am I so happy all the time? I feel so grateful I am able to inspire people through my happy disposition but, honestly, anyone can do what I am doing. Yes it requires work, and no it does not mean that things will be rainbows and unicorns all the time.
Actually, on that. The most positive people I know in my life, me included, are so damn in touch with our emotions that we REGULARLY cry, express anger and frustration, feel defeated and tired, and all of the not-so-seemingly positive emotions we have been trained to believe are ‘bad’ for us.
It still surprises me to this day when clients sit opposite me and tell me they don’t cry. How is that even a thing?! I cry weekly (pretty sure there was a stage it was daily, but I have made improvements!)
Crying, to many of my clients, is seen as ‘negative’ and ‘weak’ – which couldn’t be FURTHER from the truth. There is a HUGE misconception that the happiest people in the world never cry, never feel anger and only ever walk around in a bubble of pink fairy floss and rainbows, blowing kisses to the moon and hugging trees. While, yes, that is an ideal day for me, that is not my daily reality.
I get moody. Just last night I snapped at my partner for making me a beautiful dinner because I wanted to make it. Who even does that?
But you know what the difference is between myself, and perhaps people who are less in touch with their emotional state?
I caught myself mid-mood and stopped it. And cuddled up to him and apologised for my mood. Then I sat and journaled it out and realised the issue wasn’t about Trent making me a beautiful meal, it was that I wanted to prove to him I was worthy of his love by cooking for him. And THAT is my own shit to sort out, not his.
That story is a round about way of saying – we all have our shit. Our stuff that emerges be it from suppressed childhood experiences, lessons learned subconsciously from watching our parents, and stories we tell ourselves that become fact (if I put on weight, no one is going to find me attractive, and I am unloveable, for instance).
The people who realise this – and can catch themselves carrying their shit through life, playing the victim and “woe is me” mentality and go – no, I am going to take responsibility for my shit and start to change – are the ones who start seeing positives in ALL situations.
Even the most unimaginably sad, traumatic situations carry lessons for us. And if we embrace our emotions through these experiences, ALLOW us to feel them fully, take away the lessons and move on with a new lease on life then guess what? You are doing the best you can bloody do and chances are you are feeling as good as you can about yourself.
So how am I such a positive person all the time?
Because life is short and I want to spend it smiling and laughing, so I only spend my time and energy in things I enjoy. This isn’t rocket science people, it is actually pretty simple:
- The work I do in the world lights me up. I wake up feeling excited to work! I want to make a positive impact in the world and everything I do is committed to achieving this each day. I have PURPOSE (so important!)
- The people I am surrounded with, family and friends alike, bring me such joy. I only put energy and effort into relationships that make me feel GOOD.
- I am in a 9 year relationship with the greatest man I have ever known (and that is a story in itself – relationships take WORK people, and it is very much two-sided!) LOVE is so important to a positive life.
- I only eat food that makes me feel good – sometimes that is a whole pizza AND ice cream, sometimes it is a couple of cocktails with my friends, most of the time it is a very clean vegetarian diet (been without meat in my diet for 12 years now).
- I only exercise in ways I really love – I stopped training at the gym for 2 YEARS because it made me feel shit. Nature walks are my current obsession.
- I laugh every day (the highest energetic vibrational frequency we can be) and I don’t take myself, or life, seriously.
- I don’t watch the news. Ever. (Which is ironic as I studied journalism at Uni.) Or any movie that feels yucky – so no horror, or violence. That is a new one for me, and has changed my life for the better in a lot of ways.
- I FEEL my emotions as they come up, fully. Ain’t no suppression here. I cry as much as I laugh. I yell into pillows when I am angry and journal my little heart out every single morning.
- I practice gratitude religiously, to train my mind to look for the good. I do it every day, multiple times a day.
- I practice random acts of kindness weekly – this is a newbie I love doing. I pay for a stranger’s coffee or meal (without them knowing) – just the simple act of giving back leaves me feeling good for days.
- I give my time at no charge to causes close to me and my family (currently working alongside Macquarie University Hospital to reinstate a Chair position in my grandfather’s name).
- I am so conscious of my thoughts and words: phrases like “I can’t” no longer exist in my vocab. The simple act of changing the words I think and speak has lead to SO MANY amazing advances in my life, it is crazy (including financial abundance – stop saying you can’t afford things people!)
Gosh I could go on and on. So you can see there are MULTIPLE contributing factors to me living my positive life. And it is all genuine! I feel so freaking happy ALL THE TIME. The people I am spending my time with feel the same (it really matters where your energy goes guys). Surround yourself with happiness and you will really feel it. But it won’t come to you unless you put in the work. Every damn day.
So the next time you get a parking ticket – you’ll smile and think of me!