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I really didn’t want to write this post today…

 

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Writing for me comes in waves. My inspired moments come at any time – from showering, to driving to running errands. The notes section in my phone at the moment has 438 memos, all of which are some form of ‘brain dump’ – blog ideas, workshop ideas, client insights…and some wedding planning stuff too!

Last newsletter I talked about opening your life to flow – clearing out clutter (both physical and mental) and creating SPACE for magic to happen. For me, that magic has been happening in leaps and bounds – almost to the point of overwhelm.

So when it came time to sit and write my blog for the week, and this newsletter, I felt stuck. There was way too much I could write about, and none of it I felt particularly ‘pulled’ to. Having just done my first Facebook Live last week (about feeling the fear and doing it anyway) – and a few deep seeded Instagram posts (on the power of want versus should) a voice in my head this morning told me I had given as much as I could this week.

To be honest, part of me didn’t even want to send a newsletter out – no one would miss it, and I would get an easy ‘out’ because I was fresh out of content ideas.

While that would have been the easiest thing for me to do, it also would have been doing myself – and you guys – a huge disservice. When we set ourselves goals and positive boundaries, like mine to deliver you guys a newsletter every fortnight, then it is our duty to stick to them as best we can. Even in the times that feel uncomfortable or where you lack motivation. In fact, these times are even MORE important – because that is where the real self growth happens. Again, it’s feeling the fear, or discomfort in this case, and doing it anyway.

So – rather than caving to my fear-based thought of having nothing important to say – I created space. I made a delicious breakfast, ran a bath with essential oils and candles, listened to music, and read in the sun. I turned my phone off for an hour (big deal guys, I know!) and just sat. I cuddled my puppy. Then, once my self love cup was well and truly overflowing, I opened my laptop, and said aloud ‘What should I write about today?’ And you are reading what happened next.

What is a goal you have set for yourself this year that has fallen by the wayside because of fear, or just not being bothered? How would you feel if you felt that discomfort, but did it anyway? Maybe it’s starting up a meditation practice, or committing to your nightly routine. There are going to be days that we really don’t feel like it because, hey, we are human. But it is in THOSE moments of feeling yucky and doing it anyway, that true growth happens. You are telling your inner ego (that fear based thought) that they don’t control you – and that you are stronger than discomfort and fear. How good does that feel?

There are only 5 Fridays until Christmas. That’s two more posts from me. Not long right? Now is the perfect time to get your goals in check for 2017. I would love to help you and am just an email away!

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Flipping control and finding flow

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I have a confession to make. I can be a bit of a control freak. But not the type that wants to control other people – I have a tendency to be a control freak over my own life. I used to plan things out EXACTLY as I wanted them to, and if something happened, plans changed (as they do), friends cancelled or my life wasn’t flourishing the way I expected it to, it would send me into a panic. Which would lead to anxious episodes – breakdowns, panic attacks, not feeling good enough, you name it.

I am coming to learn this need to control my life comes from a place of distrust – rather than expecting the best from life and coming from a place of love, my need to control was fuelled by fear. I constantly needed to know how things would pan out, down to every minor detail, so that I wasn’t ever disappointed or let down. The ironic thing is, when you put that level of pressure onto an outcome, you will almost ALWAYS end up more disappointed than if you were to just go with the flow. Ahh the beauty of hindsight!

This year has been one of deep soul searching for me – uncovering emotional blockages, and really going to great lengths of understanding what makes me tick. Why do I work the way I do? (You could say personal development is a passion of mine!)

What I have uncovered is that any time I felt out of control in an element of my life – be it an argument with a family member, a missed client opportunity, or a health breakdown, it would lead to an emotional breakdown too. My need to control was never serving me – in fact, most of the time it was making things worse.

What I am coming to learn is sometimes it is easier to let go, than to hold on.

When I landed in hospital with appendicitis every bit of reading I did lead me to the message of trust. Trusting that your greatest good is just waiting to unfold – you just need to open the space to allow this good to flow.

I started repeating the affirmation:

I am safe. I relax and let life flow joyously. 

I even wrote it up in colourful pencils and have it sitting at my desk where I see it every day. I repeat it to myself constantly – when I am driving, in the shower, doing my makeup. It feels silly, but I do it anyway – and I have to tell you, the release it has given me has been immense. Not only that, but in letting go of the need to control, and attracting flow into my life, I have also become far more aligned in all areas of my life, and some remarkable things have happened; including:

  • More new clients purchasing the Quarter Life Crisis Kit in one month than in this entire year
  • Signing my first international client
  • Selling out my first workshop
  • Receiving DAILY emails and messages from beautiful tribe members that may not be clients, but have had amazing life experiences after following my Instagram or Snapchats
  • Flourishing relationships with new likeminded friends (I only just got back from brunch with a beautiful likeminded soul who reached out to me on Instagram)
  • AND I have even manifested an opportunity that has the potential to take my business to huge limits I would have never even noticed if I hadn’t released my need to control (watch this space)

So, how can you release your need to control and allow more flow into your life?

Here are some simple tips for you to incorporate today…and just watch the good it attracts!

  • Do a Spring clean. Clean out your wardrobe, tidy out your room and throw out ANYTHING you are not using or that weighs you down. This physical removal of clutter sends ripples into the Universe that you have the space to allow new to come into your life (plus walking into a clear and ordered bedroom does wonders for your mental state!)
  • Keep a gratitude journal. Or any kind of journal really. Write down anything that is weighing you down, and then rip it up or burn it. Write down what you would love to attract more of into your life and reflect on it. What are some small steps you can take today to get there?
  • Do a daily manifestation meditation. I do Melissa Ambrosini’s using Insight Timer every morning as soon as I wake up – 9 minutes sitting in bed is all you need
  • Start a vision board. Or if you already have one, update yours. I did this as soon as I got back from the hospital and one of the first things I stuck on was a ‘Sold Out’ sign. Two weeks later my workshop sold out
  • Flip your negatives to positives. Any time you catch your inner voice saying ‘I can’t have that’ or ‘That would never happen for me’ flip it to a gentle ‘I attract nothing but the best into my life’ or ‘I am so grateful for this day and all opportunities in store for me’. You may not believe these things at first but affirmations are incredibly powerful tools – the more you tell yourself you won’t have something, the more likely you won’t! So you may as well try it in reverse 😉
  • Do something for you every day. Yep, that darn self love again! But the more love you project, the more you will receive. It is energy! Take a bath, go for a walk, cook, laugh, dance. But make sure to do something that brings you joy every single day. You are subconsciously telling yourself you are worthy – and until you realise this, you will find achieving flow very difficult

How do you manage control in your life? What are your flow activities? Let me know in the comments below.

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