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My birthday present for you – 28 little life lessons in 28 years…PLUS a special gift at the end!

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Well hello there! Fancy seeing me posting on a Tuesday!
I hope you don’t mind me showing up unexpectedly, but I am FULL of the excitement today!
Why?
Because IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!
Yep, I am still unashamedly excited every time another year ticks by on the calendar – I just LOVE birthdays. Not just mine – my partner’s, my family members, my friends. Birthdays are a time to practice gratitude for gracing the earth for another beautiful year of memories, and reflect on the growth that has occurred. Ageing to me is EXCITING! Another year of growth, and wisdom and memories? BRING IT!
So today, to celebrate my birthday with all of you, I wanted to share 28 little lessons I have learned in the past 28 years of my life.

 

I ALSO want to offer all of you a special birthday prezzy from me at the end of the blog post – because you guys deserve to celebrate too right?!
28 LITTLE LIFE LESSONS IN 28 YEARS

  1. Life is short – don’t waste it working a job you hate
  2. Find what makes your heart sing and what you would gladly do for free – THAT is your passion and true calling
  3. If you don’t like the gym, quit it. Stop wasting money on a membership and find exercise you truly enjoy
  4. Naturopathy will change your health for the better in every way – find a good one. Heck, see MY naturopath
  5. Going to events that interest you on your own doesn’t make you a loser – it makes you the coolest person in the room (and also allows you to attract likeminded cool people!)
  6. Your friendship circle will change over time – but your soul sisters will stay forever
  7. It is better to have a small circle of intimate friendships than spreading yourself thin over multiple draining friendships
  8. LOVE is the answer. Always. Make it your intention every single day
  9. Random acts of kindness are totally underrated and the easiest way to make you feel better about yourself
  10. Gratitude prevents anxiety. Commit to it daily
  11. Vulnerability is powerful. People don’t want to hear that everything is always sunshine and rainbows – they want to RELATE to you, and sometimes that means not having your shit together – and that is okay
  12. Swearing doesn’t make you a bad person. Sometimes it’s fucking necessary
  13. Money is energy. Train your mind to look at life as abundant and you will attract all the wealth in the world
  14. Self worth is the key to being successful in any area of your life – if you don’t value yourself you don’t value your life
  15. Having a mental illness does not make you weak – and the strongest thing you can do is seek help from a therapist, psychologist or expert in treating your mental health
  16. There is such a thing as burnout, and it is so much more debilitating and troubling than you would realise. It is also entirely preventable
  17. Mama Earth needs to be respected – she is our source for LIFE – air, water, food, essential oils – we need to get our shit together in looking after her
  18. Essential oils are the greatest wellness support I have invested in
  19. There is nothing wrong with network marketing – it is your APPROACH and authenticity when working within it that matters
  20. You can have all the social media followers in the world, but if you’re a dickhead, it doesn’t change much
  21. Life can change in an instant. Tell people you love them
  22. SLEEP IS SO IMPORTANT. Don’t underrate it. Make it as important a priority as eating well and exercising
  23. Eat organic, cut out gluten and don’t restrict yourself from anything. DON’T DIET. Throw out your scales
  24. Make space in your week for nothingness. This is where the magic happens
  25. Oracle cards, meditation, affirmation work and feeling connected to a ‘source’ – be it God, the Universe or whatever else you believe in – is KEY to optimal wellbeing
  26. Nothing beats travel. Stop saving for a mortgage and book a flight to a place you’ve never been before
  27. There is more to life than settling down with a house – unless that is your ultimate goal. But if you are just doing it because everyone else is, think twice
  28. Writing is the best therapy you can gift yourself – and it’s free!

I would love to hear your little life lessons – what have you learned over the span of your life?
MY GIFT FOR YOU

Because birthdays are ALL about generosity, I would love to gift you all, for the next 24 HOURS ONLY, 28% off your next (full price) session booked with me.
So that means $42 OFF! I have never done this before but birthdays are to be celebrated for all of us right?

 

For anyone wanting to redeem this offer ($108 instead of $150 – #winning) – simply book your session with me NOW here.

 

I will be keeping tabs on the bookings for the next 24 hours, so where it says pay $150 in your confirmation email, know that for you it means $108.

 

But I have to stress, it is only valid for the next 24 hours – so come 8am on Wednesday August 9 2017, the deal will be FINISHED.

 

And THAT my friends, is my birthday present to you.

 

Now, if you excuse me, I am off to eat cake.

 

Love

 

Hollie xx

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Breaking the wellness ‘rules’

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Truth be told, I’m not much of a rule breaker. In school, I never got a detention. Not one. The most rebellious thing I ever did was creep out to the graveyard at Year 12 camp, and even then I felt guilty for days after. My nickname in primary school was goody-goody. I played it safe, and still tend to a lot of the time.

That being said, you could call me a bit of a ‘rule-breaker’ when it comes to the way I live my life holistically.

When I first stepped onto my wellness path, more than 5 years ago now, I did EVERYTHING by the book – I bought a cold pressed juicer, I got the Thermomix and started making raw cakes (#sugarfree), I took up yoga, downloaded all of the latest meditation apps, and read all of the ‘right’ books. I was a wellness cliche. But I did it all because I was so enticed by this ‘world’ of living my healthiest and happiest life. So naturally, I wanted to do it all ‘by the book’.

What were the people I looked up to doing? And I’m not talking generally, as a guide. I mean, exactly what were they doing so I could copy them? And if one of them says their gratitudes at night, and one writes them first thing in the morning, what the hell does that mean for me? Should I do it both times?

It has taken me until now to feel comfortable in bending these wellness ‘rules’ so that they suit my lifestyle. Because here’s the thing – I don’t ever want living my best, healthiest life to feel like a chore. If things are getting stale, and don’t feel right for ME – guess what? I am going to change it up. Just because it works for some, doesn’t mean it works for all.

Just because I am frothing on oracle cards and essential oils right now, doesn’t mean you have to! If you feel the pull, then amazing! But if you look at it and find it all a bit boring – that is also okay! Part of us being so amazingly intricate and different is that wellness is going to look DIFFERENT to us all. AND THAT IS OKAY.

These ‘rules’ we idealise when we set out on our wellness journeys are not necessarily doing us any favours – and can lead to feelings of guilt, comparisonitis and not feeling good enough, if we don’t keep them in check.

Here are a few of my old favourites…

To live a holistically healthy and well life, you DON’T have to:

Meditate every single day

Heck, there are going to be days you HATE the thought of meditating. And there will also be days you miss it. Or you might not even meditate at all because, CBF. When I started diving deeper into my wellness journey, I thought I needed to spend thousands on transcendental meditation classes, that I needed to sit with my mantra twice a day, and that Heaven forbid if I missed a day my hard work would all be for nothing.

Truth be told, meditation IS wonderful. But the way you meditate is going to be different to the way your bestie does, or the person you look up to. And that is okay. Play with it. Find what works for you – and know it will change over time. Right now, meditation for me is a guided 10 minutes as soon as I wake up. On Saturdays I skip it and always feel bad afterwards, but don’t beat myself up over it. And isn’t that the point? To embrace the stillness with ease and grace rather than guilt and shame?

Abstain from alcohol

This is a biggie, and one I am still coming to realise. Just because I am all about that well-life doesn’t mean a glass of wine with my love, or a mojito on a night out makes me any less spiritual or healthy. This comes down to the intention when you do choose to drink – if it is to have fun with friends, enjoy yourself or unwind after a full week, I say go for it. If there are deeper issues, like a dependency on alcohol to have fun, or a history of addiction – then that is a different story entirely. But just because you enjoy an espresso martini and a dance in a club doesn’t make you any less worthy of living a holistic and healthy life. Remember the FEELINGS around these things, like feeling GUILTY for drinking because you know there are people who don’t – is doing you less service than the alcohol itself. Remind yourself of your intention and you will know every time when you are drinking out of love, or out of fear. LOVE is the aim of the game kids.

Go gluten free

Don’t just go gluten free because everyone else is doing it. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. Know WHY the healthy people in your world are choosing to opt out of eating gluten (myself included). Gluten is seriously detrimental not only to our gut health but our mental health too. The ingestion of gluten triggers a response known as ‘zonulin’ in our intestines, which leads not only to leaky gut (been there, done that, twice) but also a myriad of autoimmune conditions. Not a fun time. So no, it isn’t enough to just go gluten free ‘because everyone in the wellness world is doing it’. Educate yourself as to WHY and make your decision from there. Sometimes, I will have a bit of gluten – I never restrict myself – but when I do, I am always left feeling worse for wear.

Swap your fucks for fricks

If you watch my Insta-stories you know I love a good swear word. I use effs and shits like punctuation some days – and some days I don’t – but I rarely censor myself. If you have been a guest at one of my talks or workshops, you would know the same.

The way I see it is words are a form of self-expression. I do not use them offensively – I use swear words to make a point. For emphasis or to really express how I am feeling about certain topics I am particularly passionate about.

I think a lot of the time we have this idea that once we become ‘enlightened’ or on this spiritual path, not only do we need to clean up our diet, but we need to clean out our swear words. If that genuinely feels authentic and good for you, AMAZING. By all means, swap those fucks for fricks. But if you are doing it to try and emulate someone you’re actually not – well, there’s nothing authentic about that. And in holding on to your suppressed expression, you are actually doing yourself more harm than good.

Be well-read

Don’t get me wrong, the personal development section in Dymocks is my most favourite, and I have bookshelves FULL of self help cult classics that I am yet to read – and others that are dog-eared and totally loved.

But I also haven’t read Power of Now. I have tried to read it about 5 times and can’t get through it. I also didn’t enjoy The Universe Has Your Back – I couldn’t finish it.

Does this make me spiritually inept? Or is there something wrong with me when other wellness influencers are referencing books I didn’t actually enjoy?

Hell no! In fact, I find it kind of inauthentic when people claim they have read ALL of the self help books and enjoyed EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. How is that even possible? You aren’t going to like every single flavour of ice-cream (hmmm bad analogy, maybe you are) – and it’s the same thing here. Some authors will resonate with you more than others. Just because people are ALL about Power of Now doesn’t mean it has to be your cup of tea too.

Personally I am more of a Conversations with God kinda gal 😉

Cut people out of your life who aren’t on the same path 

Don’t do this. It isn’t nice. And I see it a lot when people step out on their wellness journeys. There are people in their life that aren’t at the same ‘conscious level’ as them, and so they have a chat and let them know it’s time to no longer associate. Ummm – that’s not nice. And it’s also judgemental.

Here’s the thing – no, not everyone is going to be on your life path with you. And that is okay. Especially when it comes to family. You cannot force ANYONE, in fact you shouldn’t WANT to force anyone, to join you on your path to wellbeing. All you can do is be the example.

And if that doesn’t seem to work, and friendships or relationships naturally fall apart, then that is okay. There needn’t be drama or conflict or “this happened because you aren’t on the same path as me”. Watch the friendships that are meant to stay naturally flourish, and the ones that have served their purpose fall away. It doesn’t need to be any more complex than that.

Turn vegan

Power to you if you are. Or if you are paleo. Or pescetarian. WHATEVER you eat, I actually don’t care so long as you are doing the best you can with what you have. Try not to compare yourself to others and how they eat, and eat for HEALTH and what feels good for you.

It may surprise some of you to learn I have been vegetarian for 13 years now. I don’t proclaim it or shout it from the rooftops, because I just do it for me. It is MY choice. I have even received Instagram messages asking me if I would consider going vegetarian. When I reply and say I have been for over a decade now, I get asked why I don’t talk about it more.

Because what I eat shouldn’t matter to anyone really. I eat what makes my body thrive and feel good. If you thrive off organic, grass fed meat, then who am I to judge you? Just like I don’t expect to be judged when I eat a cheese plate.

Remember we are always doing the best we can with what we have. THAT is enough.

Like yoga 

If you are taking up yoga to do the cool contortion tricks with your body to post on Instagram, then you are in it for ALL the wrong reasons. Yoga is such a wellness ‘thing’ because it is more than just the physical practice – it encompasses mind, body and soul wellbeing. I rarely post any yoga pics because that isn’t what yoga is for me. Again, it is a personal practice.

You might try yoga out and HATE it and wonder what the fuss is all about. If that is the case, no there is nothing wrong with you. You can still be into health and wellbeing and hate yoga, contrary to popular belief. Maybe the gym is more your thing, or swimming. WHATEVER your form of exercise is, there is none more ‘superior’ than the other – so embrace what you enjoy fully and don’t beat yourself up if downward dog makes you want to hurl.

Follow all of the wellness influencers, even when they make you feel shit

There was a time when I was following THOUSANDS of wellness influencers on my Inst – heck, anyone with the word ‘wellness’ in their bio got a big old tick from me. Recently I have scaled it right back, and will continue to do so, depending on what posts I resonate with.

For instance, once I was following ALL of the wellness nutritionists and cooks and was bombarded with recipes I knew I was never going to make. But I was following them because everyone else in the industry was. Once I let that idea go, I created more space for content that really appeals to me – and I know overtime that is going to evolve.

Follow the pages that truly light you up – they might be different to other people and that is okay. YOU have a direct say in the content you engage in – so if it makes you feel shit, even when the page’s intentions are good (I am referring to lots of fitspo accounts here) then unfollow.

By all means my loves, look up to influencers in the wellness space, get inspired, and take action. But also don’t force anything. Find what works for YOU and know it is totally okay however that looks. So long as your mind, body and soul are healthy, thriving and happy, it doesn’t matter so much how you get there.

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A sneak peek into my journal…

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The first week in July felt uncomfortable to me. Don’t get me wrong, each day was beautiful and filled with the usual gratitudes and positivity – but there was a real unease in the energy, and I was totally aware of why too.

Flipping through my journal pages from the first couple of days sums it up nicely:

1 July 2017

July for me feels like slowing down, really going within. Almost like preparing for BIG things. Doing the ground work – and the groundING work!

4 July 2017

May and June were such full months – I am fully embracing the space in July. For me, July is all about practicing patience, slowing down and TRUSTING everything is unfolding as it should – it always does.

5 July 2017

I am learning lots more these days to release control, embrace space and relax with flow. It makes me uncomfortable, but I know it is a big lesson for me. 

6 July 2017

Gosh the theme of July is so blatantly SPACE. And PATIENCE. Each day has been full of tests, forcing me to slow down and just ‘be’. Truth be told, I have been resistant to it. There is this part of me that is rushed and forced. That pushes. I am being urged to embrace the feminine – to surrender. I need to fall into it. It won’t be easy, but it is necessary for my growth. To disconnect, to go within and allow for space. For NOTHING. My soul is craving it right now and the best thing I can do is listen to it. 

7 July 2017

I feel really content and relaxed after a very easy, slow week. It really has taken me to this point to get comfortable slowing down – but I am now. When we take our time with things, we show the Universe that we have surrendered fully, and that we trust it. I don’t NEED to rush through life – no good comes of it. It is actually NICE to fully surrender – to go about my day doing whatever I please, allowing life to happen FOR me. That is a gift in itself. 

12 July 2017

I LOVE JULY! I love moving through my days with ease and not forcing anything – I am being gifted multiple things a day by allowing for the space to receive. PLUS my soul is speaking loud and clear. I am so grateful – I couldn’t stop smiling yesterday because life is so beautiful. 

Talk about a significant change in a short period of time! And it really did take up until now to completely, happily surrender with this month’s ‘theme’ of slowing down. And I am not the only one feeling this big shift in energy. To me, the second half of 2017 is about resting and restoring for a huge 2018. My first half of 2017 was epic and full and non-stop. Truth be told, I had NO time for myself, let alone my fiancé or my family or friends. Yes, that is the nature of owning a business – when the work is there, you take it. You work a month straight because you love what you do, and you have a huge vision.

But then, when the Universe gifts you with space – you must take that space too. Don’t resist it. Realise it has been gifted to you for a REASON! Will my business fall over if I take a bath at midday today because that’s what I want to do? Or if I get no client bookings on a Saturday, is it going to do me HARM to actually embrace the gift of a weekend off, rather than stress about where to fill my client space?

Too often we rush through our lives as if it were a race or a competition. Then when we reach a certain point – the point we would consider to be the ‘finish line’ – we move the markers. The point is an illusion – we never stop.

And it is to our own detriment. We burn ourselves out, start snapping at loved ones, our health suffers and we can’t remember the last time we did something for the FUN of it.

When life gifts you space – take it. Embrace it. And most importantly, resist the urge to FILL it. It has been gifted to you for a reason – get journalling and uncover why.

I’ll leave you with a little reflection I shared with my clients for the month of July – perhaps it will help you too:

PATIENCE

My darlings, July has presented a really strong theme to me, and a few other ‘connected’ women I know – and I wanted to share it here with you all too.

The second half of 2017 feels like a time to go within: to slow down, to ‘hibernate’ and take stock of how far you have come.

It is NOT a time to push, to rush or to race to a certain point. There can be discomfort in this – resisting the urge to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible (don’t I know it) – but we are really being guided to slow down. I keep getting: slow and steady wins the race.

So if you have been feeling out of breath lately, like you aren’t doing enough and that there aren’t enough hours in the day: know that there IS and you ARE. You are enough by simply just being. And that the biggest growth will happen for you when you sit in silence, practice presence and fully accept where you are RIGHT NOW.

Be patient my darlings. Take it easy. Go slow. Trust me xxxxx

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How am I so happy all the time?

 

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Yesterday I got a parking ticket. And I laughed. And then I messaged my girl Emmily, and she replied saying “I got one too! Two days ago! And I laughed as well! Could be so much worse than $108 right?”

And that was exactly how I felt too. I saw the ticket, smiled to myself and thought: serves me right. That’s what I get for being cocky and parking all day in a 2 hour zone (Em and I have been doing this for months now, ‘testing’ the Universe and the power of our minds. Looks like the joke was on us this week!)

How many of you can honestly say if you received a parking ticket it would make you smile?

I know it sounds totally bizarre, but I have done SO MUCH work on my mindset – constantly, as in every damn day – that when ‘bad’ things like this happen, they don’t shake me up anywhere near as much as they used to. The smile wasn’t forced – it was totally subconscious. I have re-wired my brain to see the positives even in the annoying situations life throws our way.

When people reach out to me on social media, I am often complimented on how inspiring my positivity is – how they wish they could be more like me. How am I so happy all the time? I feel so grateful I am able to inspire people through my happy disposition but, honestly, anyone can do what I am doing. Yes it requires work, and no it does not mean that things will be rainbows and unicorns all the time.

Actually, on that. The most positive people I know in my life, me included, are so damn in touch with our emotions that we REGULARLY cry, express anger and frustration, feel defeated and tired, and all of the not-so-seemingly positive emotions we have been trained to believe are ‘bad’ for us.

It still surprises me to this day when clients sit opposite me and tell me they don’t cry. How is that even a thing?! I cry weekly (pretty sure there was a stage it was daily, but I have made improvements!)

Crying, to many of my clients, is seen as ‘negative’ and ‘weak’ – which couldn’t be FURTHER from the truth. There is a HUGE misconception that the happiest people in the world never cry, never feel anger and only ever walk around in a bubble of pink fairy floss and rainbows, blowing kisses to the moon and hugging trees. While, yes, that is an ideal day for me, that is not my daily reality.

I get moody. Just last night I snapped at my partner for making me a beautiful dinner because I wanted to make it. Who even does that?

But you know what the difference is between myself, and perhaps people who are less in touch with their emotional state?

I caught myself mid-mood and stopped it. And cuddled up to him and apologised for my mood. Then I sat and journaled it out and realised the issue wasn’t about Trent making me a beautiful meal, it was that I wanted to prove to him I was worthy of his love by cooking for him. And THAT is my own shit to sort out, not his.

That story is a round about way of saying – we all have our shit. Our stuff that emerges be it from suppressed childhood experiences, lessons learned subconsciously from watching our parents, and stories we tell ourselves that become fact (if I put on weight, no one is going to find me attractive, and I am unloveable, for instance).

The people who realise this – and can catch themselves carrying their shit through life, playing the victim and “woe is me” mentality and go – no, I am going to take responsibility for my shit and start to change – are the ones who start seeing positives in ALL situations.

Even the most unimaginably sad, traumatic situations carry lessons for us. And if we embrace our emotions through these experiences, ALLOW us to feel them fully, take away the lessons and move on with a new lease on life then guess what? You are doing the best you can bloody do and chances are you are feeling as good as you can about yourself.

So how am I such a positive person all the time?

Because life is short and I want to spend it smiling and laughing, so I only spend my time and energy in things I enjoy. This isn’t rocket science people, it is actually pretty simple:

  • The work I do in the world lights me up. I wake up feeling excited to work! I want to make a positive impact in the world and everything I do is committed to achieving this each day. I have PURPOSE (so important!)
  • The people I am surrounded with, family and friends alike, bring me such joy. I only put energy and effort into relationships that make me feel GOOD.
  • I am in a 9 year relationship with the greatest man I have ever known (and that is a story in itself – relationships take WORK people, and it is very much two-sided!) LOVE is so important to a positive life.
  • I only eat food that makes me feel good – sometimes that is a whole pizza AND ice cream, sometimes it is a couple of cocktails with my friends, most of the time it is a very clean vegetarian diet (been without meat in my diet for 12 years now).
  • I only exercise in ways I really love – I stopped training at the gym for 2 YEARS because it made me feel shit. Nature walks are my current obsession.
  • I laugh every day (the highest energetic vibrational frequency we can be) and I don’t take myself, or life, seriously.
  • I don’t watch the news. Ever. (Which is ironic as I studied journalism at Uni.) Or any movie that feels yucky – so no horror, or violence. That is a new one for me, and has changed my life for the better in a lot of ways.
  • I FEEL my emotions as they come up, fully. Ain’t no suppression here. I cry as much as I laugh. I yell into pillows when I am angry and journal my little heart out every single morning.
  • I practice gratitude religiously, to train my mind to look for the good. I do it every day, multiple times a day.
  • I practice random acts of kindness weekly – this is a newbie I love doing. I pay for a stranger’s coffee or meal (without them knowing) – just the simple act of giving back leaves me feeling good for days.
  • I give my time at no charge to causes close to me and my family (currently working alongside Macquarie University Hospital to reinstate a Chair position in my grandfather’s name).
  • I am so conscious of my thoughts and words: phrases like “I can’t” no longer exist in my vocab. The simple act of changing the words I think and speak has lead to SO MANY amazing advances in my life, it is crazy (including financial abundance – stop saying you can’t afford things people!)

Gosh I could go on and on. So you can see there are MULTIPLE contributing factors to me living my positive life. And it is all genuine! I feel so freaking happy ALL THE TIME. The people I am spending my time with feel the same (it really matters where your energy goes guys). Surround yourself with happiness and you will really feel it. But it won’t come to you unless you put in the work. Every damn day.

So the next time you get a parking ticket – you’ll smile and think of me!

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What’s all this ‘masculine/feminine energy’ talk?

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The wellness world has cycles. When I first stepped into learning all about wellness, it was 5 years ago and my Dad had been diagnosed with cancer. At that time, juicing your greens and chia seed puddings were really NEW. Like, not at all mainstream. Chia seeds were bloody hard to find, and I remember people double taking my green juices as I downed them. Now no one looks twice. It’s mainstream. Which is freaking awesome if you ask me.

There have been multiple ‘wellness’ trends becoming mainstream lately: everything from meditation and the apps you can use, to yoga retreats, to natural beauty. People are becoming more and more conscious about living their happiest and healthiest lives, and it makes my freaking heart SING! The health food aisles in supermarkets are expanding, About Life chains are popping up left right and centre and no one bats an eyelid when I talk about my penchant for oils and crystals and the chakras. I BLOODY LOVE IT.

A biggie in the wellness community at present is ‘tapping into’ our masculine and feminine energies. Our yin and yang (not a typo guys, it isn’t YING contrary to popular belief!)

I started hearing talk about all this ‘masculine feminine stuff’ about a year ago. And truth be told, at the time it just seemed a bit far out for me – I didn’t resonate with it. I know now it is because I wasn’t READY for that part of my journey. But recently I HAVE been ready and in learning more about these innate energies and states of being, I have been able to really enhance my life in so many ways.

So what the fuck are you talking about Hollie? What do you MEAN masculine and feminine?

I get it. When we first hear these terms it sounds like we are talking about males and females. But that’s the first misconception with these energies – they are NOT gendered. In fact, in my life I have operated from a far more masculine stance than I have feminine. I have men in my life that are more feminine than masculine. And with this in mind, it is neither good nor bad. But when you become AWARE of which energy you are naturally inclined to operate more from, you are able to swing back to the opposite (the masculine/yang or the feminine/yin) to counteract the overstimulation of that initial energy.

Stay with me guys, this stuff is freaking mind blowing.

Masculine looks like….

Constantly striving, running on adrenaline, knowing everything, determination, being driven and successful, ‘busyness’, exercise like weights and running, logic, decisiveness, reason, power, survival.

You can see that these states of being are neither good nor bad. They just are. Operating from your masculine means you get shit done. It is that state of being when you just need to put your head down and do the damn work. When you need to make decisions and call the shots. THAT is when you tap into your masculine.

Masculine energy can lend itself to high productivity, but naturally, it also lends itself to overexertion and burnout. Where are my type A’s at? Fatigue, anxiety, perfectionism? All very much stemming from that masculine energy.

Starting to make sense?

Feminine looks like…

Rest, love, yoga, compassion, kindness, space to do nothing at all, nature, calm, quiet, emotional awareness, organised, intuition, going within, nourishing, creativity, sensuality (this is a BIG lesson for me currently).

See the difference?

When you are operating from your feminine energy (remember this goes for males AND females) – your are softer, steadier, more considered and gentler. You have created space to rest and tap into your innate wisdom, rather than rushing from task to task, to do list to to do list (now that’s a mouthful!)

When our feminine energy is TOO overactive, we can become indifferent, unable to make decisions and passive. We allow others to control our lives rather than taking life under our own wing. We care about what others might think.

Do you see how these energies are both as important as one another in our lives? There will ALWAYS be one we are more inclined to naturally gravitate towards: for me, it is very much a masculine energy. Striving, pushing, working hard to achieve. And it has served me the WORLD of good in running my business, for example. However I have become increasingly aware of my need to tap more into my feminine: with my clients in our sessions, as I study energy work, with my partner, with my friends. Operating from one energy constantly is damn exhausting!

How do I know which energy I am operating from?

Chances are if you have read this far, you know just by reflecting on how the above traits apply to you. You will start catching yourself when you acknowledge where the driving force of a decision has been made. Like anything, once you are AWARE of the energy, it becomes easy.

For me, I started to really notice majority of my decisions were very masculine and driven. And I didn’t want it to rule my life anymore. I was craving softening, and solace, and quiet. So I started to tap into my feminine more.

Here are a few things I have done recently to really tap into my feminine energy:

  • Consciously choose clothes that make me feel beautiful and sexy (rather than just dressing for comfort)
  • Wearing a full face of (all natural) makeup even when I am just heading out to the shops (playing with my feminine sensuality more – and being totally unashamed by it!)
  • Solo walks in nature, hugging trees and watching waterfalls (literally, I have become THAT girl)
  • Lathering my body in coconut oil infused with essential oils just because it FEELS good
  • Journalling my heart and soul rather than my mind – connecting more with my intuition
  • Taking full days off for nothingness – EVEN when there are emails to be done (they will always be there!)

You will know in your heart what is right for you. If you are craving more masculine energy, go for a run, or start speaking up more at work. Play with it. That’s a big part of my journey actually – not taking any of this too seriously. It is all a part of bettering yourself and your life so you damn well want to be having fun while doing it!

I’m curious – what is your experience with the masculine and feminine? How is your journey unfolding? Share with me in the comments below…

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Doing the SOUL work

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Today I am going to share with you guys something that leaves me feeling a tad vulnerable, a lot open and 100% REAL (which is so important).

For the last 18 months or so I have been really stepping into a spiritual ‘soul’ path. You may have noticed in my Instagram stories, or maybe you are a client of mine who has experienced my spiritual connection first-hand through oracle readings.

It has not been something I am totally openly sharing, because I find it is a path I am happy to journey alone – spirituality is a very personal experience, I have come to learn.

However what I am also realising is that people WANT to talk about this stuff. We are interested in the angel numbers, oracle cards, free-writing and journaling until our mind quietens and our soul speaks. And it would only ever be from a place of FEAR where I don’t share the truth behind my spirituality and how integral it is to my daily life, and the life I am living today.

FEAR being – what will people think of me? Just another ‘hippy non-sense talker’? Would it effect my credibility? Would people question my intelligence when I start speaking more openly about intuition or divine timing?

I realise now that I don’t want to hold back from that place of fear anymore. Spirituality and soul work is such an important part of what I do and the person that I am. If that doesn’t resonate with someone, then that is okay. If you are reading this now and it isn’t for you, that is also okay. But it IS important to me, and this is why I am sharing this today.

I have listed below  some of the key spiritual practices I have in my life, why I do them, what the practices have lead to and how you can incorporate them into your life, should you wish.

Angel Numbers

My connection to ‘angel numbers’ began in my former life – working a corporate job in an industry that didn’t light me up. I knew I wanted ‘out’ but was too fearful to do anything about it. I started seeing 11:11 constantly. That pattern then lead to MORE number patterns: 2:22, 5:55 – it was almost laughable. My colleagues would role their eyes when I proclaimed another number pattern aloud – like I was watching the clock on purpose. But I wasn’t. And I knew there was something more to it.

So I took it on myself to research what these patterns meant. And 3 years later I continue to receive guidance through number patterns. What started as just patterns related to time, has developed into number plates, bank statements and receipts – anywhere you can see numbers, I am receiving patterns and messages.

If you notice a repeating number pattern occurring in your life – look it up! It’s called Google, peeps! Type in the number and the words ‘angel number’ and read the message. Feel what it means to you. If it continues occurring, it may mean the lesson still needs work. I also have Doreen Virtue’s book on Angel Numbers that I can reference at any time.

Numbers for me are always a nudge that I am on the right path and doing the right things. At the moment, my numbers are 888 and 0000 (specific, right?) Play with them, smile when you see them and know that you are being guided. Always.

Oracle Cards

These are not to be confused with Tarot, or telling the future. My love affair with oracle cards is a relatively new one and one I am now able to incorporate into my sessions with clients, which I am so grateful for. I have done oracle readings for clients that leave us BOTH in goosebumps and tears.

I have 6 decks now, all with their own meanings, and each time I intuitively pick what is the right one for a person, or myself, that day. I use the oracles as a guide rather than as an answer. I don’t live my life by their messages, but I do ask for guidance and often receive exactly what I need to hear (whether it’s what I WANT to hear is a very different thing!)

People often ask me how to use oracle decks in their own life – I say, find a deck that captures your attention. Don’t just pick a deck that everyone else has, or that I have used for you. And then just play. Shuffle the deck. Ask questions. But don’t take the messages for gospel. Remember that they are just added guidance you can use any time you feel stuck or unsure.

I use mine every morning as part of my morning routine and just love all of the guidance they continue to give me.

Meditation

It has taken me some years to commit to a regular meditation practice: struggles of ‘turning off’ my thoughts, and feeling uncomfortable in silence, have lead me to giving up in the past, over and over again.

I am so grateful to have pushed through the discomfort, as my regular meditation practice is something that I can turn to any time I want to turn up the volume of my intuition. Practicing stilling and quieting my mind allows for my intuition to speak up loud and clear. And the more we practice this, the louder that intuition becomes.

Journaling

“When we quieten the mind, the soul speaks.” I love this zen quote, and it has been entirely true in my journey. Journaling is another non-negotiable daily practice I have. My history of anxiety, and not being able to turn off my racing thoughts, has lead to a commitment to journaling like never before. Every single morning, without fail, after I quieten my mind in meditation – I open my journal and write. Whatever falls onto the page, I know is supposed to be there. Sometimes it is pages and pages of words that don’t make much sense. Other times it’s a poem, or a story, or just a few lines. Whatever it is, I know it is my soul speaking to me, quieting down my racing mind, and allowing me to start the day clear-headed.

Nature Time

The older I get, the more my connection to Mother Earth strengthens. Holy smokes I love my nature time. About 5 times a week I aim to get out into nature – I am grateful to live right by a state forest – and so take myself out for an hour, podcast in my ears, walking through the trees. I am often walking off the paths and make my own way – and yes, I even hug a few trees along the way. Nature is spirit, just like we are. We cannot physically survive without nature. Literally, the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat – it is EVERYTHING to our survival and yet so many of us lose that connection with it.

My time in nature is my time to slow down, to really connect and ground myself and just be 100% me. And for some of you that may sound hippy, but to me it makes total sense. Nature is our survival. If we can’t show it love, then we can’t really show much else love can we?

Gratitude

The word ‘grateful’ has become an innate part of my vocabulary. I honestly say how grateful I am for things more than I can count each day. Practicing thanks does that – the more you open your eyes to what you are thankful for, the more you HAVE to be thankful for. It is science and the nature of metaphysics, yet so often we get caught up in what we DON’T have (and thus, the cycle continues).

Tell someone – right now – that you are grateful for them. See how it makes you AND them feel. Write your three gratitudes daily. Speak them out loud as you shower. And especially on your hardest, most challenging days – this is when the time calls for giving thanks more than ever.

Sage and palo santo

I used to sage my bedroom and home office religiously, to maintain a positive, neutral energy and repel anything negative or heavy. Especially working as a coach, in one on one scenarios it is paramount I protect my energy, given the nature of topics in my sessions (everything from mental health, eating disorders and suicide, to sexual assault and rape, to death and grief, and the list goes on). I am so incredibly grateful to do the work I do, and to offer guidance and healing to those that need it – however I must also guard myself from energies that do not serve me and are not mine to carry.

I didn’t realise how important this was starting out as a coach. And then after any back to back sessions, I would be zapped on the couch for hours with migraines and needing to sleep the day away. I look back now and smile – I was so naive! My energy was completely zonked through no fault of anyone but my own.

Today I use palo santo (or holy wood) to smoke my client space before anyone enters it. I ask Archangel Michael for guidance and protection. And then I do the same after the session. I also soak in epsom salts regularly to really cleanse my energy.

If you are interested in starting out, go to Tree of Life and start with sage which is super gentle. There are wonderful how to guides online.

Chakra healing

The most amazing and also completely unexpected occurrence has been happening in my sessions over the last 3 weeks. I have been channeling chakra blockages in certain clients. Stay with me guys, it was more confusing for me than you would know! I have been taking on physical ailments my clients have been experiencing (sore throats, headaches and cramps, for example) and each time I ask the client if they have been experiencing the physical symptom I am feeling, they say yes. I am then intuitively guided to direct them to a chakra (energy) point in their body that needs work. I am not (yet) studied in how to clear these blockages however watch this space…because these instances have lead me to realise my work has JUST begun. My business as a wellness coach is evolving into something far more than I could ever have anticipated and it is exciting and nerve racking all at once. I cannot wait to share with you all what is in store.

There is so much more I could share and write on this – I stopped writing at 2,000 words when I realised this is becoming more than just a blog post. In my daily spiritual life I use essential oils, crystals, moon rituals, colour therapy, kinesiology, gosh the list goes on and on. Please let me know if this resonated with you and if you want to learn more. It may just become an ebook if the demand is there!

Thank you for being open enough to read this. I really want to ‘normalise’ the part of us that craves spiritual or soul connection. Wellbeing after all is MIND, BODY AND SOUL. And if I cannot talk freely about my OWN soul journey, then I’m not really doing my job am I?

I would really love to hear your thoughts on this one guys. Did it resonate with you? Did it make you uncomfortable? Why? What are your spiritual practices?

Sending you love ALWAYS,

Hollie xxxx

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Because you’re worth it

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Yep, I can see the irony of this title already. A blog about self love and self worth using the tag line from a multi-million dollar cosmetics brand fuelling purely on women’s LACK of self worth.

You’re worth using our makeup to feel beautiful, because chances are without it, you don’t!

Okay that was a cynical side of me I rarely show, but felt the pull to get it off my chest.

Now that that’s done, let’s dive in, shall we?

Self worth.

Gosh it’s a biggie. 18 months in business, coaching a range of clients with all kinds of backgrounds – men, women, mum’s, teenagers, business owners, performers, those with a mental health challenge, those with eating disorders, relationship challenges, the list goes on and on…and it ALWAYS comes back to self worth.

Why?

Because if we don’t feel personally ‘worth it’ then what’s the point?

If we don’t see ourselves as worthy of living our dream life, then are we really going to try our hardest to succeed at our dream job?

If we don’t believe we are worthy of our OWN love, then how can we expect anyone else to love us too?

If we don’t believe we are worthy of health or beauty or vitality, then are we going to FEEL healthy, or beautiful, or vibrant?

You can bet your bottom dollar not! (First time I have ever used that phrase, how fun!)

I have had beautiful clients sit before me in tears, their life in shambles, not knowing which way forward, because deep in their heart and soul they don’t even know what it FEELS like to wake up feeling deserving of a GOOD life. To actually OWN your RIGHT to happiness and love.

I held a workshop a few weeks ago and part of it was around developing our own personal affirmations, telling ourselves the things we really needed to hear. When it came time to share them, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Thirty women in tears proclaiming they want to feel worthy of love, they want to feel worthy of putting themselves first, to feel worthy of living their dreams.

Why don’t we already feel like this?

In my experience the opposite of self worth is guilt, and shame, and dare I say it, disgust.

Instead of thinking: I DESERVE to take time out for myself because it is good for my mental health, we think “I couldn’t POSSIBLY take time out for myself, it makes me look lazy and I’ll feel bad.”

Or rather than thinking: I AM WORTHY of my dream job and living an incredibly abundant life, we think “Who am I to think I can live an amazing life? What makes me special?”

I can see you nodding along with this.

I have been working on this with my clients for a while now, and it always comes back to the same thing: cultivating self love. That being said, it doesn’t mean I have it all sorted!

Recently I have had an influx of client bookings, writing gigs and speaking and workshop bookings. My business is thriving and I am forever grateful to be able to do what I do for a living every day. Alongside the bookings, I am also regularly approached to provide my services for free.

Since starting my business I have never offered a free coaching session – not even to my best friends or family members – because I see the value in what I provide as a coach, and for clients to really excel their needs to be a true VALUE EXCHANGE.

Think about it – if you have invested your money into bettering yourself and your life, you can guarantee you are going to be doing your homework, showing up on time and putting in the work. As a result, my coaching is going to be super successful for you because it comes back to how invested you are in the work.

If I were to offer a free session, chances are you aren’t going to do the work, or value it as highly as if you had financially invested in the coaching.

Makes sense doesn’t it?

That being said, I receive multiple requests for free writing and speaking gigs. My own self worth has been tested time and time again in this regard. The main reason I do what I do is because I want to HELP people. It is my driving force. So when a charity or amazing foundation or business requests my help by providing free content, a big part of me really wants to do it.

However, what I have realised in my time working on my OWN self worth – is that in providing my services for free, I am undervaluing myself. Not only that, but I am undervaluing paying clients who see the value in what I do, by prioritising free work over them.

Having this realisation left me feeling a bit yucky at first. Wanting to help as many people as I can, I felt guilty turning people away who don’t have the funds to book me.

But the guilt is quickly replaced by self worth once more.

I am an ambassador for the Children’s Tumour Foundation and provide pro-bono support to Macquarie University for their Chair of Surgical Oncology fund. I already work for both of these foundations for free. So why am I feeling guilty?

Here’s the thing: if I don’t recognise the value in what I do, and that payment is a necessary part of that, then I am of no help to anyone. I end up spreading myself thin, for no financial benefit, and before long, Universe forbid, I can no longer write, or speak, or coach because I am no longer making money.

I have seen it with my family who are musicians – asked to work for free because of the exposure they will receive. My partner’s friend runs an electrical business, and is constantly asked for discounted rates. Chances are you know someone, or ARE someone, who deals with something similar. Or maybe you are the person asking for the free work?

In doing this, without even realising it, we are potentially saying we do not value that person’s time or efforts – and as a result, will never be satisfied with the work they do. There will also be a build up of resentment in the person doing the free or discounted work for you. The relationship has not been built on value exchange, and rather on guilt and a lack of value.

I was discussing this with a client recently who is starting her photography business. She is no longer interested in offering free work because she has done the work on her own self worth and sees her value (#clientwin!) That being said, she is comfortable with a value exchange – so taking unpaid photos for a yoga studio is okay by her, if she receives classes in return. See how there is a real exchange of value here? It doesn’t HAVE to be financial – it could be an exchange in services, in time or in cross-promotion.

On the flip side, if you ARE caving regularly to ‘freebies’ and ‘mates-rates’ – ask yourself why you are doing it. Chances are it is less to do with helping the other person, and more to do with recognising your own value.

Where are you undermining your own self worth? Is it in the work you do for a living? The people you spend time with? The way you spend your OWN time (on what you think you SHOULD do versus what you WANT to do?)

How can you start to see what you are really worth?

Repeat after me:

I am worthy

I am deserving

I will no longer undervalue the incredible person I am

Because guess what? You’re worth it.

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