Quality over quantity

I’m baaaaaack!

Actually, on second thoughts, I haven’t actually BEEN anywhere to be ‘back’ from.

Yep, I had my time away in Byron in the lead up to Chrissy (life changing), then we had the new year and all the energetic shifts that always come with it, and now, sitting almost 20 days into 2018, I feel the pull to sit down and write. So I am.

But I don’t want the vibe to be that I had ‘gone’ somewhere, and now I am reemerging. Because in reality, I haven’t gone anywhere. I have just been more in tune with what I really want. Like, at a deep soul level – what will light me up in this very moment? Where is flow taking me (as opposed to forcing or pushing or striving or what ‘should’ I be doing right now?)

Truth be told, toward the end of 2017 I began to feel super regimented by ‘rules’ I had put in place for myself, for no other reason than I thought they should be there.

Things like:

• I must release a new blog and newsletter every second Friday
• I should be hyper-available online to everybody – be it client, friend, family member or stranger (what do you mean reply after 3 or 4 days? I need to get back to them stat! They NEED me!)
• It’s important to post online every day – and if not every day then every second day – because ‘business’ relies on it

Maybe you have similar rules in place? Regardless of whether your run a business, are a mama or just use ‘rules’ or to do lists to guide your every day, did you ever stop and think about whether these things are really, truly serving you?

I did a lot of reflecting over the break, and what I came to realise is that most of these rules I was placing on myself actually weren’t serving me. And because they weren’t serving ME, or adding light to MY life, then they couldn’t possibly be serving all of YOU. Because the energy I was bringing to them was stagnant, messy and a bit confused.

I was forcing myself to ‘show up’ to share, post and create content, even when every ounce of me preferred to switch off. I didn’t allow myself any days ‘off’ work, because I assumed if I wasn’t churning and burning, then you guys would leave and I would be left without a business, without clients, without ‘followers’.

Notice how it was all totally fear driven?

2018 has a new energy for me. It is one of slow and steady. Flow. Pace. And truly, doing what I feel like and WHEN I feel like doing it.

If, like me, you are conscious of being really in tune with intuition, your soul and living a life that is full of ease, then why is it that we run our lives in allocations of time slots and to do lists to ensure we don’t forget what MUST get done, and rushing from one thing to the next in order to feel accomplished?

I want days where the only thing I do is a barre class and a nap.

I want days where I don’t write a single word, because when I am not forcing content out of my mind, it flows so much more effortlessly.

I want days – or weeks – where I share NOTHING because I know what I would normally share is really just ‘noise’ and not adding any value to you, or me.

That’s where my head is at for 2018.

So, expect a whole lot MORE from me. Because in delivering less frequently, I am able to deliver more in quality, in substance and in content that is truly going to add value to your lives.

Because THAT is more important to me than ticking off a to do list.

I hope you agree.

Hollie xx

Taking a breather…

Today is the first day in almost 2 years of writing my blog and newsletters, that I have left it to the day of delivery to write.

Usually I plan my blog way in advance (I have two weeks between posts to write) – and I schedule the email the day before.

But come yesterday, knowing I had to get a newsletter out, and I just couldn’t fathom doing it. It seemed a mammoth task on top of everything else I ‘needed’ to get done that day.

I hit a wall at 3pm and went to bed. I haven’t had to nap like that in a while, and while yes I am so grateful to have the flexibility in my days to allow for those energy re-charges, I also know my body was sending me some real warning signs.

Slow down Hollie, now. If you don’t, we will do it for you.

I know all too well the signs of an over-worked, adrenaline-fuelled body. And I feel that parts of me have been heading down that path since December hit.

I am grateful to be inundated with opportunities and emails and messages filled to the brim with love and fully booked months of client coaching sessions. Less than two years in biz and things are pumping way greater than I could have imagined.

But all-or-nothing Hollie was taking the reigns, filling gaps of space with social outings, Christmas celebrations and events, returning phone calls the minute they were missed, replying to texts as a means to ‘clear the inbox’ rather than actually genuinely engaging with the content.

Life has been rush rush rush.

I am itching to slow slow slow.

And the warning signs are coming in thick and fast. Sitting down to write this this morning and my computer told me it wouldn’t be saving anything else I worked on as my hard drive was full and I needed to clear it out before writing any further. Talk about a metaphor for the way I am feeling right now! My hard drive is overworked, my brain is malfunctioning and I am ready to clear out anything I don’t need anymore. Old stories, beliefs, behaviours. Time for a big unload to Trash!

I listened to my intuition in September and had booked myself a getaway, on my own, for this month. I leave tomorrow and it couldn’t be more perfect timing. While majority of the trip will be spent studying intuitive reading (which I am so excited about) – I also had the hindsight enough to book a few days on either side of the course for myself. Alone. Doing nothing. Oh my gosh the joy of it.

I want to take this time to wish each of you a very Merry Christmas. I will be back in your inboxes before the new year, recharged, refreshed and with a wealth of new wisdom to share with you all.

Sending my love,

Hollie xx

It’s okay to want to look your best…

Yesterday was one of the most exciting days I have ever experienced. I was going to pick up my wedding dress. Since finding my dream dress way back in April, I have been constantly imagining the day I would get to slip it back on. And I’m not a girl who is big on these sorts of things. But there’s something different about wedding dresses. I hope you guys get to experience what I mean.

I have been training my butt off at the gym since purchasing my dress, for two reasons:

1. I want to feel amazing come my wedding day
2. I want to look my best

Dot point two has been a struggle for me to come to terms with. Because somewhere along the way of accidentally becoming a body love advocate (never part of the plan!), I lost sight of what that actually meant.

In fact, ego told me time and time again that I wasn’t allowed to lose weight or tone up or appear ‘too attractive’ – because people wouldn’t take me seriously anymore.

What kind of a warped belief is that?!

But it is truly what I was telling myself. That to be relatable, I had to dim my light.

It’s okay for me to post photos of me with my leaky gut and bloated belly, or untoned physique, and claim we should all love ourselves, but Universe-forbid if I share the same message when I have lost 6 kilos and am focused on toning up.

Here’s the thing – I love me either way. Toned muscles or carrying a little extra weight. Right now, my priority is on being in beautiful physical shape – not only for my wedding, but because I know when I am exercising and eating well, my body responds well, and I look my best. It’s more than just how I feel in my clothing – like an inner-glow.

But I wasn’t allowing myself to truly OWN that I wanted to tone up and lose weight because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I honestly thought if I noticeably lost weight, people would think I had ‘sold out’.

Here’s the thing when it comes to body love – so long as your intentions are from a LOVING place, then that is the goal. If you want to tone up and lose weight, and you are doing it in a gentle, loving and uplifting way, THEN THAT IS OKAY!

It is when we become obsessive – not just in our actions, but in our thoughts and our beliefs, that can become quite damaging.
So I stepped into my dress yesterday feeling totally confident. I have lost 6 kilos since I tried it on last. But, silly Holz had also packed on the muscle. So while the dress slid on beautiful in most places – when it came to my boobs, I had grown 2.5 cm.

To which the woman fitting me laughed: “Girl, so many women pay for this problem!”

I laughed too. Of course it was my boobs that grew (more specifically, my back behind my boobs). So while physically I am in better shape than I have been this year, my dress was a tight squeeze. OF COURSE!

Did I let it get to me?

Not at first. The woman in the shop was so impressed at how much I took it in my stride.

“Gosh most women would have had a melt down!”

Here’s the thing. I didn’t at the time. I didn’t on the excited drive to leave the dress at Mum’s place, or when I posted my picture on my Insty with all the beautiful comments coming through from you all.

But then, I did.

I started worrying:

• What if I put own weight before the wedding and the dress wouldn’t do up?
• What if the dress didn’t look as good as I hoped, and people would judge me for it?
• What if my boobs grew even more and distracted from anything else?
• What if I had a leaky gut episode the morning of the wedding (or even worse, my period, which has nicely synced to the DAY of our wedding as of last month)?
• What if I don’t look how everyone else expects me to?

These thoughts ran through my head all at once, suffocating me until it got to the point I had to switch off my phone, have a big cry and release all of the stress I had created myself. Do you see that the initial stress of not fitting into my dress on the big day, actually stemmed from an underlying fear of what other people will think of me? WOAH.

Waking up this morning, I feel so much better. I am happy that I was able to release what had built up – because now I have a fresh perspective.

In journalling on it all this morning, I realised that it actually doesn’t even matter what I look like on the big day. What matters is why I am doing this – to marry the love of my life. I could wear a potato sack and have gained 10 kilos and it would still be the best day of my life. I’m not doing this for ANYONE other than the two of us. It actually doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

So I have released the fear, for now. I am sure at some stages it will rise again. Because guess what – I am human. As an influencer we can put so much pressure on ourselves to have all the answers, to never break down or appear contradictory. But that totally takes away from being authentic and relatable – two things that really matter to me.

So yes, love your body. Do ALL things for yourself from a place of love. And if that means losing weight, then own that lovingly. It doesn’t make you a bad person for wanting to look a certain way when you are coming at it with loving intentions. Of COURSE we want to look our best – because when we do, we FEEL our best. And when we seek out the feelings instead of focusing on the image, then it all naturally falls into place. Just don’t get so caught up in that journey that you forget to appreciate what you have right now.

When comparison-itis strikes

I have a confession to make…recently I have found myself falling victim to the old ‘comparisonitis’.

Yep, the girl who shouts from the rooftops “COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY” and preaches self love, has caught herself out in the nasty spiralling of comparing myself to others. And the kind of uncomfortable part is, I didn’t even realise I was doing it. I had to be called out for it.

It all unfolded the other day when I was chatting to one of my (many) successful, inspiring, beautiful, amazing soul sisters (so grateful to continue to attract all the incredible women in my life).

I was venting…

“I just feel like no matter how hard I work, or how much effort I put in to my business, it is never enough. I look at what you are doing, and what X is doing, and Y is doing, and I wonder why I’m not there alongside you guys. What is holding me back?”

To which she replied:

“Can you shut (the f***) up for a second?”

(Legit she was angry. Get yourself friends who can comfortably get angry at you when you’re being stupid.)

She continued…

“Hollie, I watch what you are doing and I am amazed by it all. You are the definition of killing it. How can you not see that?”

I half-heartedly agreed…mumbled a little thanks…and she continued…

“I want you to think about exactly WHAT these people are doing in their lives, that you think is better than what you are doing. And stop the comparison right now, because it’s boring and you’re better than that.”

She might as well have hit me in the face with a pot plant (I’m going through a plant phase right now).

I honestly had no idea I was comparing. Yet in hindsight, I CLEARLY was. This was all stemming from a fear of not DOING enough, HAVING enough, and BEING enough.

Yet my ego had disguised the fear as “wanting to better myself”. But in wanting to better myself, rather than investing back INTO myself, or taking the space needed to reflect on ‘where to from here’ – I had gotten caught up in the scrolling, the comparing, the frustration of not being enough.

And it was all my own doing.

Here’s the thing. We KNOW comparing isn’t ever beneficial for ourselves. Maybe you compare yourself to your friends – the one who just bought a house, just had a baby or are recently engaged. Or maybe it’s to the strangers online with the chiseled abs and tanned ‘bikini bodies’.

For me, I had fallen victim to comparing my BUSINESS self to other business savvy women in my world – friends of mine, and women I truly look up to. But in admiring them and feeling INSPIRED by them, my ego twisted it to – well, you should really be doing what they are doing. Because they have more followers than you and that means they are more successful than you.

Typing it out sounds so stupid, but that is truly where my mind had gone. And I had missed it entirely.

So what do we do when we find ourselves caught up int he world of comparisonitis?

Well, for starters, I nutted down exactly the story I was telling myself:

X, Y and Z were ‘killing it’ which meant I wasn’t. Which is not true at all. Because here is my personal definition of killing it:

• My body is healthy and strong and energised and thriving (tick)
• I am surrounded by loving family and friends (tick and tick)
• Trent and I are super loved up and planning our dream wedding (alllll the ticks)
• I work for myself, only doing things that truly light me up and are aligned with my heart and soul (tick x a million)
• I am operating at a level of abundance that allows me to not have any other jobs outside of working for ME, myself and I – plus being able to invest back in my health and my growth, pay for a wedding, travel whenever I like and move out of home next year (a million ticks)
• Being an inspiring and authentic influencer in the health and wellness space, helping others to live positive, healthy and happy lives and working with brands I truly believe in (ticks, ticks and more ticks)
• Booking speaking gigs for incredible brands and being able to spread the ‘wellness word’ (I’m boring you with the ticks now yeah?)
• Working a flexible lifestyle allowing for sleep ins, gym during the day, travel whenever and afternoon naps if I want it (TICK)

So what the hell was I comparing myself to?

Maybe I haven’t published a book yet, but I am writing it.

Maybe my blog isn’t a leading influence in the wellness community yet, but that’s not why I write it anyway.

Maybe my Instagram followers fluctuate by 50-100 every damn day, but that’s not why I post.

In catching out our ego in its tracks, and rationalising the STORIES we tell ourselves, we can start to uncover what is actually TRUTH and what is FEAR.

My stories about not being enough?

Total fear. No truth to them whatsoever.

Next time you catch yourself comparing – sit with it. Reflect on it. Where has it come from? Is it a truth or a story?

Because remember, you, right now, reading this, are enough. You are enough in every damn moment. No matter what anyone else is doing right now.

Sometimes we just need the reminder.

Try and catch yourself out before you get smashed in the face with a pot plant.

When following your intuition doesn’t go to plan…

In two weeks today I will be hopping on a flight to Melbourne for my first interstate workshop. A huge feat in itself, and something I am super excited by, yet I would be lying if I said things have panned out the way I’ve anticipated. (Therein often lies the issue – as we know, expectations more often than not lead to disappointment!)

I have been resistant to bringing my workshops interstate. The idea of fronting up for flights, accomodation, transport, venue hire, goody bag items, meals out and the list goes on, is a big financial deal for a small business like mine.

For months and months I was ignoring the almost daily inboxes from all of you asking when I was bringing my next workshop to your state. Melbourne were the most vocal. Bring BOTH of my workshops, I was constantly asked. In fact, there would be more than 40 Melbournians who have reached out to me at some point this year asking me to bring a workshop down to VIC.

So finally, after much resistance, and a big “I HEAR YOU UNIVERSE!” I contacted a venue provider, hired the space and created the event landing page. Intuition was telling me loud and clear it was time to get my butt to Melbourne. To “feel the fear and do it anyway”.

I launched the event and in the first night sold 4 tickets.

Excellent – confirmation I was doing the right thing. If I could get to 20 tickets sold that would be perfect. I would break even…just… on venue hire, accomodation and flights. No need to make money off my first Melbs workshop, I told myself. Just breaking even would be great.

Then…nothing.

Two weeks out from the event and I have sold 6 tickets – this covers venue hire. Just.

Last week when I realised it was a very real scenario that I may not sell anymore, the old fear voice crept in. Should I cancel altogether? Downsize the venue location? Was I charging too much? Did I pick the wrong time of year for an event? Should I have gone to Brisbane instead? Or better yet, stayed in Sydney where my workshops sell out to waitlists?

Fear after fear after fear based story running through my head, yet intuition was still ringing loud and clear.

Go to Melbourne, Hollie. And ENJOY it. Give those 6 attendees the BEST DAMN WORKSHOP of your life.

Because here’s the thing…

I don’t do the work I do in the world for money alone. I definitely don’t do it to ‘break even’. I am called to do the work I do to inspire, uplift and share my lessons with people who truly want to learn. Whether that be one person, six people, or a stadium full of people actually DOESN’T MATTER.

What matters is I feel my soul’s calling and listen to it – regardless of whether it makes financial sense. Regardless of whether my ego wants to tell me it’s a silly idea.

So that’s where I am at now. I couldn’t be more excited to get to Melbourne and to enjoy every bloody second.

Remember intuition is not about ‘planning’. In fact, it is often the OPPOSITE of it. It is about feeling and surrendering and TRUSTING. Allowing things to unfold the way the are always supposed to, even though you cannot see what that looks like.

When your intuition doesn’t go to plan – well, you’ve missed the entire point.

No need for plans when intuition is at play.

(Pssst! Got a friend in Melbourne you think would love to spend a Sunday morning vision boarding and learning all things manifestation with me? Invite them to come along! Universe knows we have the space! https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/manifestation-and-magic-tickets-37525419540)

Losing my virginity

Why sharing sex stories is important 

I was 18 when I lost my virginity to the man I’m about to marry.

Yep, you read that correctly. I’ve only had sex with one person my entire life.

(Dad you can stop reading now.)

I’m not in any way ashamed of this, or shy about it. In fact, when it comes to sex, I am pretty open – which I know can be a bit uncomfortable for people, especially women, as we have been raised in a society that frowns upon women who speak openly about sex, and heaven forbid, women who enjoy it (or WANT to enjoy it!)

I know when people hear about my experience (or lack thereof…but not even, we will go there) – they find it weird. Some people feel sorry for me. Some people are genuinely shocked.

Don’t get me wrong. That was never the plan. Heck, in high school I never wanted to get married! My friends from school are still in shock that I’m the one who is planning to settle down, as I was always so vocally anti-marriage when I was younger. “I’m going to be a spinster,” I would tell them. (Now they laugh at me! How times have changed.)

The reason I am sharing this with you is to illustrate how our sex stories all differ. But really, at the end of the day, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to your sex life. You could have had hundreds of partners, or a handful, or none, and no matter where you are at – so long as you are comfortable with it – that is okay.

What matters isn’t the number of people you have had sex with, or how kinky things get in the bedroom – what really matters is your relationship WITH sex.

Yep, I’m going there.

Sex is key to overall wellbeing. Like a healthy diet, exercise regime, meditation practice and mental health focus, a healthy relationship with sex is paramount if you want to cultivate true wellbeing – mind, body and soul.

I attended an event this morning hosted by Moments Condoms talking all things female sexual empowerment. Some of their statistics floored me – like how in a recent survey of women, only 35% were comfortable enough to purchase condoms (things like embarrassment for being judged when purchasing them were excuses as to why women don’t buy them. Why are we embarrassed about sex?) Or how more than 60% of women are having unprotected sex (often due to a fear of being judged in the bedroom – it’s easier not to ask, or to hope the other person has one).

I turned to my friend Melissa who I was sitting with and we were both in shock. How is this the norm? Surely being too embarrassed to ask to use protection is a clear indicator that perhaps the person you are having sex with maybe shouldn’t be the person you are having sex with? Surely you want to feel comfortable with the person you are sleeping with?

The discussion that unfolded on the panel was one about self worth. It was fascinating and seriously opened my eyes. Being my one sexual partnered self, I had no idea how severe an issue sexual wellbeing is amongst us women. Feelings of low self confidence, not having sex for YOU, not even knowing what turns us on – is a REAL issue.

When I talk to my girlfriends about orgasms, and sex positions, and heaven forbid our vaginas, I am met more often with a laugh and a ‘typical Hollie’ than I am with comfortable discussion. Why? What is making us so uncomfortable with sex?

When I sit opposite my clients who are experiencing blocks around sex, it is often a deeper issue unfolding. Of course traumatic sexual experiences are one of those things, and something that involves a deeper level of counselling or therapy. But these are not the instances I am referring to.

I know plenty of very happy couples with very non-existent sex lives, which may be totally fine by them – but a lot of the time, they want things to be different. Sex is often the glue that holds a relationship together after all.

On the flip side, I also know a lot of happily single women who are totally comfortable with sleeping with a number of people. And I take my bloody hat off to them! I am sick to death of the stereotype of a woman who enjoys sex being labelled as a slut, skank, or whore. Yet men are so damn comfortable with their dicks, and shouting from the rooftops about their latest one night stand.

Good on them, I say. Time to match them, ladies. Recognise that discomfort. What is the underlying story you are telling yourself about your sexual self? Is it taboo? Shame? Embarrassment? What were you taught (or worse – not taught) about sex growing up? Where is your view of sex holding you back? And how can you work through it?

Remember, like anything in your health, you don’t have to experience this by yourself. I am grateful to be very in touch with my sexual side, and to have a partner who is willing to explore things with me (lucky boy). If you aren’t there yet, but want to get there, there is a MYRIAD of help available.

My first point of call is to check out The Jade Egg Academy  run by my good friend Tara O – who helps women tap back into that sexy side of themselves they lost. To embrace your feminine power, unleash epic orgasms and reclaim an incredible sex life.

Alongside this, when I see clients who have sexual blockages, often their Sacral Chakra needs work. This is the energetic point located at your pelvis, and vibrates to the colour orange. The sacral chakra is your CREATIVE point – so you will often find those with sexual blocks also lack a creative outlet in their life (think art, or dance, or something else creative).

I could write far more on this, and plan to, because I believe encouraging a healthy and open dialogue about female sexual empowerment is paramount today. Remember it doesn’t matter how many partners you have had sexually – what matters is your relationship with sex. Are you sleeping with someone for the enjoyment, and because it makes you feel good? If yes, GO GIRL! If the answer is anything less than that, there may be work to be done. But that is okay, because I am here, and so are hundreds of open, kind and supportive women who want you to experience sex the way we do.

(And yes, 10 years of sex with the same guy and I still orgasm every time. So can you!)

What is your sex story? Are you totally comfortable with your sexual self, or do you think there is work to be done? 

The day to day supplements I can’t live without

I first started taking supplements for my health at the peak of my adrenal fatigue in 2015. I couldn’t understand how I could be eating SO healthily, exercising SO regularly and still feeling sick, tired, fatigued and not at all the way my body SHOULD have been feeling, given the care I thought I was giving it.

It turns out, a cumulative effect of anxiety, stress and fatigue over time, meant my body was not absorbing the nutrients it needed to, my gut health was eradicated (leaky gut AND parasites all at once – not a fun time) and it turned out, my body needed a little extra TLC other than solely relying on the food I was eating.

Enter my incredible naturopath who created a holistic lifestyle plan for me, covering everything from nutrition and exercise, to sleep and meditation and, just as importantly, supplementation.

After a barrage of tests came back alerting to depleted adrenals, low iron and zinc levels, high cortisol, deficiency in magnesium, a sluggish liver and a super inflamed body and gut, I was put on a strict healing protocol with so many supplements that I can’t even RECALL all of them today, only two years later.

But what I do recall is that they helped – a lot. So much so, that there are a few of them I continue to take to this day, given their positive effect on my body and in my life.

I have been receiving a lot of questions from you guys lately about what supplements I personally use to support my health, and today I want to share with you the key good guys that are a non-negotiable part of my daily life.

Legalon by Flordis

I was naive when I assumed because I wasn’t a big drinker, and I ate #glutenfree, that my liver would be functioning normally. In fact, it has been one of the key organs in my body that I have struggled with most over the years. The sole responsibility of the liver is to detox the body – from things like alcohol, sugar, and other nasties we potentially absorb through toxins in our home environment and day to day life (think chemical cleaning products, carcinogenic beauty products, even the contraceptive Pill!)

At the peak of my adrenal fatigue, my liver was working on overtime and was in desperate need of extra TLC. Enter, Legalon. My naturopath explained to me the benefits of Milk Thistle in supporting the liver, including its antioxidant effect (allowing cells to regenerate and breathe), and anti-inflammatory response in the body. Considering my body was super inflamed, it made sense to give it a go.

Now, Legalon is a supplement I use on the daily. After a few months break this year, I have noticed SUCH positive changes in my energy levels, skin, hair and even the whites of my eyes, after just taking it again for a month now. Having Legalon as a daily supplement offers peace of mind in knowing that my liver has that extra support to do its thing – especially as I have only come off the Pill a year ago, which puts EXTRA detoxing strain on the little guy.

Check out Legalon by Flordis here or chat to your naturopath about the best way to use it in your life.

Probiotics 

Another daily must-have, probiotics have been key to restoring the good bacteria in my gut after years and years of damaging effects from leaky gut, parasites and extreme antibiotic usage. Not only is a daily probiotic so important to ensuring a healthy gut microbiome, but given the relationship between the gut and the brain, a probiotic is also incredibly important to maximise mental health and eliminate feelings of anxiety.

Rather than taking yourself off to the nearest health food store and picking a random probiotic from the fridge, it is so important to sit with a naturopath and find a probiotic that is best for YOU and your current experiences. I have changed probiotic strains and types over the years, and am currently taking Ultra Flora Immune Control, as my most recent test results showed signs of a weakened immune system.

Take your probiotic before bed at night to let the little good guys do their work as you sleep.

Neurocalm

A must for my anxious readers – Neurocalm was a game-changer for me. This supplement is incredible as it allows your nervous system to relax and takes immediate effect. If you feel an anxiety attack or anxious feelings arise, pop a Neurocalm (so badass) and in 20 minutes the feelings will have subsided.

As they are a totally natural alternative to medication, they have been a saviour for me in my most anxious moments. Now, I only take Neurocalm when I feel heightened levels of anxiety. However, there was a stage I took it every day morning and night, to really stabilise my nervous system while I worked on other health challenges.

This is a supplement that needs to be prescribed by your health care practitioner, so take yourself off to your naturopath to have a discussion on how Neurocalm could potentially aid in your anxiety treatment.

Liquid Herbs

Not really a ‘supplement’ but just as important to me is using liquid herbs to support my health in a multitude of ways. Our health can really be treated by nature in so many cases if we allow it to be – and liquid herbs are an incredibly potent and effective way of treating health concerns, as liquid is absorbed more readily than capsules in the body.

Here’s the catch – they don’t taste good at all. Like, some herbal tonics taste like dirt. But, stick to it because in my experience they will really help you over time. Remember, with supplements and herbal medicine we are treating the underlying CAUSE, not just masking a symptom – so it may take a little longer to notice the effects, but practice patience here because your body will absolutely thank you for it.

I have taken liquid herbs for everything – from adrenal support, to anxiety management, to gut healing, and most recently hormonal support and acne.

Again, these are something that must be administered by your naturopath – if you don’t have one yet, why not see mine! 

While these are four of my favourite supplements, truth be told there are some stages in my life where I will take double the amount (with things like magnesium, zinc and even additional gut support), and also times I won’t take anything at all.

Find what works best for YOU and your body, and always take supplementation under the support of a qualified healthcare practitioner.

Your body, mind AND soul will thank you for it.

I’m not lucky, I work bloody hard! (The truth behind creating your reality…)

 

This time last week I received a phone call from the Daily Telegraph telling me a photographer was on their way to my house to shoot me for an article they were running on sleep the following day.

Then this morning, I was interviewed by a National news network on the radio discussing the same article.

I have also just sent off final negotiations to host an INCREDIBLE wellness event as their MC for two days in October.

Opportunity after opportunity after opportunity has been knocking at my door, and it is crazy to think that 8 days ago, NONE of these things were on my radar – not even thoughts in the back of my mind.

Now, I’m not sharing this to brag. I’m also not sharing this in the hopes of anyone else feeling inadequate.

But I think it is incredibly important to shed light on this amazing domino effect in my life recently that, yes, I have created. And worked bloody hard at.

Too often, as an outsider, we can view other people’s successes as ‘luck’. You all know the ‘overnight success stories’ that take, on average, 7years of behind the scenes work to achieve.

There is NOTHING lucky about what has happened for me over the last 7 days. All of it has been created BY me, and I want to share this with you all because you can do it too. You truly can. There is nothing that makes me any more worthy of success – be it in my career, my business life, my financial status, my relationships – ANYTHING. But you have to see that, recognise it and own it.

OWN YOUR WORTH. IT IS ONLY THEN THAT YOU WILL TRULY SUCCEED.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t have this all figured out. FAR from it. In fact, these shifts have only recently taken place after MONTHS and months of investing in my own personal development. You guys don’t really see what takes place behind the scenes when it comes to how hard I work on myself and my business. For me, it never ever stops. But it is VITAL if you truly want to reap life’s rewards. You cannot sit back and wait for luck to land in your lap. It doesn’t happen that way. There is no quick fix or button to push. Which is why it is easier to just give up and become a spectator in your own life, living for holidays or weekends or the ‘gaps’ between actually living. But you are different. You know there is another way. I know you know this, because you have read this far.

So, how did I make these shifts, and how can you follow suit?

Journalling

A daily non-negotiable of mine, and the second part of my morning ritual after meditating. My journalling practice is a non-negotiable. What started as a way for me to clear my head at the beginning of the day has transformed into connecting with my inner most desires and the workings of my soul. Writing things down really clarifies what is fear based and fuelled by ego, and then what is more love and soul. When you can determine what motivator is running the show (love or fear) – then you can make some incredibly powerful changes.

My journalling has told me when to slow down, when to pull my finger out and do the work, and when to stop with the excuses. The lessons aren’t always flowy and loving – there are some harsh truths in there. But as Elizabeth Gilbert says, she has never seen a powerful transformation in a person that hasn’t started with the person in question getting sick of their own bullshit.

That is what journalling does for me. Calls out my fear and slaps me right across the face with what to do next. It is so much more than just a pretty book with nice words.

Channelling

I have some incredibly connected and inspiring friends, and I will spend time on Voxer channeling my feelings with them. Voxer is a wonderful app, as it allows you to communicate with someone without the interruption of talking over one another. I use this as a tool with two of my best friends almost every day – sometimes we can speak for up to 15 minute recordings at a time, because when you allow your mind to flow and the words to spill out, you can really get on a roll and answer questions you didn’t realise you always had within you.

I love to channel while walking in nature. I will stick my headphones in and just talk about how I am feeling. What came up in my journalling that morning? Where am I feeling stuck? What old stories do I want to change about myself? There have been times where we will end up in tears, but just as often in awe of what answers we always had inside us. It is the magic of allowing the space for the knowledge to come. Just being and trusting that you truly KNOW what it is you need to do in any given moment. Because you do. I see it with my clients all the time.

Alongside channeling Voxers, we also share our gratitudes for the day, and also where we need to hold each other to account. Just talking things out with someone on the same page as you can see incredible transformational shifts (hell, it’s why coaching works so well!)

We always have the answers in us – it is creating the space for these magic realisations that matters.

Energy Work 

I regularly see my Body Talk practitioner (and friend Ava) to recalibrate my energy, emotions and physical symptoms, to shift outdated modes of thinking and realign, ground and centre my energy. Body Talk is very similar to kinesiology and has helped me immensely from physical ailments like acne and gut health, to deep-seated emotional challenges and blocks.

I usually see Ava every three weeks or so, however in August my soul was craving more, and I was seeing her weekly for about 5 weeks. Yes, this costs me money, and yes, it can be incredibly challenging to sit and stare at the truth behind some of my blockages, but I care far more about my own personal growth and development than I do anything else. If you can’t invest money in your own health and wellbeing, what the hell is the point of anything, really? Because, #truthbomb, without your health, you have nothing. Simple as that.

The shifts that have been made in my recent sessions have lead me to the point I am at now, where opportunities are knocking at my door, strangers are recognising me in shopping centres (legit a thing now, and so incredibly cool) and people and brands are practically throwing money to work with me. (SO GRATEFUL!)

It hasn’t always been this way and I have had to work SERIOUSLY hard on releasing so many blockages and beliefs around abundance, money, wealth, self worth, shining my full light, being ‘enough’, self sabotage, not wanting to show up. SO MUCH FEAR. It rears its head for me every damn day. But in shifting the energy with a healer, you are able to move through the discomfort, take on the lessons and grow from there.

It is NO coincidence that the themes of my most recent sessions have been to step out and be seen, allow myself to be successful and to stop hiding in the shadows of others.

Follow Your Bliss

This one is simple. Do the stuff that makes you happy and brings you joy. Laugh as often as you can. Follow the high-vibrational energy feels and guess what? That is what you will experience in your life. Pursue opportunities and watch them pursue you. Get out of your comfort zone, and watch people applaud you. Follow your heart rather than your head and watch life unfold perfectly, like a scripted movie. Even BETTER than a movie, because you are actually living it.

This absolutely works in reverse too. If you are working long hours in a job you hate, I bet you aren’t feeling too crash hot, are you? Your health may be suffering, and maybe your relationship? This domino effect can work either way – like attracts like, remember – and everything we think, say and do is energy. This is science. And it is so bloody simple, yet I see time and time again people falling trap into their own low vibrational mindset, wondering why stuff isn’t working out for them.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.

Stop doing stuff that makes you feel like crap. Just stop. Follow your heart – even when it scares you, especially when the resistance is there. Watch the magic unfold for you when you do.

Creating Space

If you are the type of person who jumps from outing to outing, event to work to brunch to night out to second job to other thing – without a space in between for yourself – then sorry to break it to you, but you are really acting as your own worst enemy. You are repelling opportunity by filling your life with ‘stuff’.

In running from free time, rest, relaxation and ‘me time’ – you are also running from the natural flow and surrender that is needed for life to happen FOR you.

By creating conscious space in your daily life (this isn’t only about a free Sunday every few weeks, but about rest and space every single day) – then you are allowing yourself to receive. Because you have given yourself the energetic space to receive! It is as simple as that.

I didn’t have to force or strive or push for ANY of the three major opportunities that landed in my lap this week. THEY CAME TO ME. And I truly believe it was a result of the collective things I did above.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you believe in luck? Or are you creating your own reality?  Share with me in the comments.

How I learned to love my body – three of my top tips

When you look in the mirror, what words run through your head?

Do you smile to yourself? Call yourself beautiful? Or quickly glance away in disgust?

If the latter is more your jam, you are not alone. I have spoken with hundreds of women who do the same. When it comes to facing themselves in the mirror, it is unbearable. The thought of speaking kindly about themselves and their body isn’t even on the radar.

I get it. I’ve been there.

But I have also come out of the other end – a much happier, healthier, calmer and kinder person for it, too.

And I KNOW you want to get there. You wouldn’t have read this far otherwise. But it all seems too hard doesn’t it? When we have grown up in a society conditioning us to de-value our worth, or better yet, market that we are ‘worth it’ – the ‘it’ being makeup, or clothing, or those stupid waist trainers and leggings that “make you appear 3 sizes smaller!”

Get fucked.

The real question here is WHY. As in, why do we WANT to look three sizes smaller? Why do we WANT to train our waist to contort into a shape that isn’t natural for our given body? Why do we WANT to lose those 10 kilos?

What are we trying to prove here?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am ALL for exercise and eating well and living a healthy life because of how it FEELS. Health feels great. Living an energised, vibrant and healthy life is the ultimate goal right? We want to wake up feeling good, going about our day without illness, or panic or any level of mental or physical illness.

The real issue I am seeing though, is the ‘health’ industry pushing not so healthy ways of living. Weighing your food before you eat it is not healthy for your mind. Training every day without rest is not healthy for your body. Weighing yourself once, twice, or more a day (or week) is not healthy for your soul.

And yet we think that if we change the shape of our body, if we lose those last 5 kilos, if we LOOK a different way, then we will FEEL a different way.

Here’s a truth bomb for you my loves – the way we LOOK and the way we FEEL are not one and the same. They are TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS.

Take it from the girl who has had the abs, the thigh gap, lost the weight, had ALL the compliments in the world about how amazing my body was looking, and was left feeling depleted, fatigued, anxious and a total wreck.

Now I have to reiterate – for some people, strict regimented dieting, and training, does not have the same effect on them as it did on me. But this blog IS about me, and it would be wrong of me to not share it.

This week is Love Your Body Week in Australia. In light of this, I wanted to share with you my three top tips to starting to love what you see when you look in the mirror starting NOW – and not when things physically change. (Hot tip: when you start practicing self love, you will find you body relaxes and changes ANYWAY. But you aren’t left with the mental, physical and emotional exhaustion. It’s a freaking win-win!)

Say goodbye to your scales

I don’t weigh myself because I know what that number does to my mind. For some of you, maybe weighing yourself is fine and you aren’t ever attached to the number that shows up, in which case, amazing. But I know for me, I used to place a whole lot of importance on that number. I could have had the #cleanest, #fittest week of my life, but if that little number came back even a FRACTION bigger than the last time I saw it (most likely the day before) then it would send me into overdrive – I wasn’t doing enough, all my hard work was for nothing, I must have looked bigger, blah blah blah.

When I realised the scales were not helping me in any way, I decided I would never weigh myself again. And other than a few doctors visits (where I have told them not to tell me the number) I haven’t. Because I KNOW even after all the work I have done, hearing that number will never do my self worth any favours. I know my mind. And you know yours. Do what is best for it.

(You will KNOW if you are at a healthy weight range by how your clothes fit, how your body FEELS and how often you are exercising/eating well. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to know the pull of your body’s gravitational force to be able to tell if you are healthy or not.)

Start catching your inner dialogue when you look at yourself in the mirror

Next time you look at yourself in the mirror, catch out where your mind goes. What are the stories you are telling yourself about your physical appearance?

Here’s one for you – I used to HATE my legs. I thought they should have been longer, and didn’t like how muscly they were. I would look in the mirror and pinch at my thighs wishing they were smaller. Now, I know that this belief had NOTHING to do with how my legs looked (totally love them now by the way). The story I was telling myself – that my legs were too big – was actually a DEEPER issue about my self worth.

I believed I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t as skinny as some of my friends, so that meant I wasn’t attractive enough. I thought my difference made me unloveable, unlikeable – that boys wouldn’t find me attractive, that in some way the circumference of my legs was a direct correlation to my ability to succeed in life.

Notice what you say when you look in the mirror and then unpick the dialogue. Chances are it is about so much more than your physical appearance. What are your underlying stories, and are they actually true?

Acknowledge the FEELING you are seeking – and then go out and find it NOW!

Close your eyes and imagine you are physically looking however you want to right now. Perhaps you weigh your ‘goal weight’ or just look the way you have always wanted to… Now really imagine how that FEELS. What would you do differently in your life if you looked that way?

Maybe you feel more confident? Sexy? Worthy?

Whatever feelings you are seeking, realise you can feel ANY of these things RIGHT NOW. You don’t have to wait for the perfect body, or to change your looks to feel these things. These feelings come down to practices of self love and personal development – which have nothing to do with our physicality, other than nurturing and honouring and loving the bodies we are given.

When I was training my hardest, weighed my goal weight, had the abs and thigh gap, I was seeking freedom and passion and inspiration. I was sick of working a job that no longer lit me up, but rather than change that, I thought changing my body would make all the difference. It only made things worse. I was sicker and unhappier than ever before.

Really acknowledge WHY you think changing your body will change your life. Chances are there is an underlying issue you are struggling to cope with, and you are using your body as an excuse. Own up to it, and get to work angel.

I would love to hear what practices have helped you fall in love with your body? Please share them with me in the comments below, and let’s start a body-love thread of inspiration! 

Hello anxiety, old friend – we meet again.

Today as I was driving, I felt a familiar constriction in my chest.

Then I sighed.

Followed by a yawn, and a second sigh.

Oh dear – I thought to myself – I’m in fight or flight mode.

Now, recognising this in itself is an amazing feat. As someone who has struggled with anxiety since I was six, it has taken me upward of 20 years to learn how to read these warning signs in my body alerting me to an impending ‘danger’ created by my mind, and my mind alone.

That doesn’t make an anxious onset any simpler to manage though. Once it arrives, the only thing you can really do is ride it. Lucky I have a tool kit of ways to manage an anxious spiral – and part of that is acknowledging it for what it is.

Yep, I still get anxious from time to time. But moments that used to leave me in a panicked state, hyperventilating and gasping for air, rushed to emergency in the most extreme moments (three times to be exact) because I was convinced my throat was closing up, or I was dying, are now few and far between.

My last panic attack was February 2016. 18 months ago.

For those of you who have experienced anxiety (or universe forbid, a panic disorder) you know how exciting a feeling it is when the gaps between your last episode get longer and longer.

Now don’t get me wrong, this has been years and years in the works. My rock bottom in 2015 saw me having panic attacks weekly, if not daily. This whole way of living without panic is relatively new for me in the scheme of things, and something I continue to work on.

So today, when that familiar feeling rose in my chest, sinking my stomach, blurring my vision and making me want to run scared – here is what I did instead…

Sat with it

I really noticed it rising as I was driving – I guess because your mind can really settle here. I noticed the chest breathing, the sick tummy feeling, my mind with a million tabs open, and almost laughed to myself “hello anxiety”. One of the easiest ways to diffuse feelings of anxiety is to NOT resist it. Because a lot of the time feeling anxious can make us feel MORE anxious – why is this happening, what if I stop breathing, what if this becomes a panic attack, should I pull over, but I have been doing so well, why now?

You guys know what I mean. Instead, I acknowledged it for what it was. My body perceived I was in danger because of the way I had been behaving over the last week or maybe even month. Fight or flight response is our bodies way of PROTECTING us. So I thanked my body for doing this, but also reminded it – aloud – that all was okay.

I repeated the following affirmation until I really FELT it: I am safe. I am relaxed. I let life flow effortlessly. 

Focused on my breathing

Then, I directed my attention straight to my breathing. The only way to get our bodies instantly out of fight or flight mode, is to elongate our exhale breath. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THIS STEP.

Here’s why it works:

Back when we were cavemen, fight or flight mode would switch on when we needed to get ourselves out of danger and to safety – you have all heard the sabre-tooth tiger analogy yeah?

A few physical changes need to take place to get our bodies to safety – and quickly!

One of the first things that happens, is our breathing shallows to our chest.

Why?

Because when we are running from danger, we don’t have the time to take deep inhale belly breaths do we?

This is why, when we feel anxious or nervous, you might find yourself yawning or sighing or finding it hard to catch your breath. It is because our bodies think they are doing the right thing by us.

The thing is, today we are engaging fight or flight like never before – and this can have detrimental effects including sore chests, feeling like you are going to pass out, hyperventilation and even false sense of heart attacks.

Makes sense right? Because we aren’t often in a life or death situation when anxiety sets on.

Which is why, the easiest way to remind our body it is safe, is to breathe deeply into your belly, and exhale for as long as you possibly can. Do this until the shallow breathing subsides – you have told your body it is safe. You can’t run from danger and belly breathe at the same time. (Another reason to make meditation and/or yoga a daily practice!)

Acknowledged WHY I was feeling this way

I started to curiously question where my anxious onset stemmed from. But this is important – it wasn’t in a worried or judgemental way. More like a curiosity – hmmm, I wonder why my body thinks it is in danger?

This was easy for me to pinpoint – with Lola going into surgery on Tuesday, I knew my adrenaline levels were peaking, and truth be told probably hadn’t done enough to level them out again once her surgery was over. So my adrenals were fired up and ready to POP because I was pushing through the last few days, not taking too much solid rest time for myself.

In acknowledging the WHY, I was able to reiterate to myself there was actually nothing to be worried about, that everything was okay (as it always is) and that there was nothing my body needed to protect me from.

Spoke to someone (a few people actually) about it

I am lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends and family who ‘get’ what anxiety is like, and how it can flare up out of nowhere. The worst thing we can do as anxious folk is keep it all to ourselves. Sometimes – scrap that, all the time – the best thing is to just admit how we are feeling, and talk it out with someone.

I spoke to my Dad (who has had his own battle with anxiety and is a wealth of knowledge and understanding), one of my besties and my partner.

It’s nice to have people who hold space for you – who let you speak, and know not to say ‘Just don’t worry’ (never tell an anxious person not to worry). Find your key people and have them on speed dial the next time an anxious flare up arises (because it most likely will).

Actually – on that. If you have anxiety, it is highly likely that no matter WHAT you try, you will feel more anxious than usual at times. That is not to say you will always have panic attacks. But it is also just a simple reminder that too often we set ourselves up for failure in thinking this will go away forever.

Rather than thinking in this way, start to learn how best to manage your anxiety so that your moments between episodes get longer and longer. That way, the next time an anxious spiral does arise, you are prepared rather than shocked.

Took the afternoon off to rest

I got home from my full day, with a bunch of items on my to do list (including writing this which is meant to be sent tomorrow morning) and ignored them all.

I put on my trackies, took off my bra, cancelled my evening appointment, and dived under the covers and slept for 2 hours. Fight or flight is super taxing on our bodies and we must do all we can to recalibrate when we notice we are operating from an anxious state. It tells our adrenals not to worry.

Once I finish writing this, it will be bath time with my lavender oil, and some trashy TV (although is the Bachelor REALLY trashy? #amIright?)

Cried

Fuck I love a good cry. All of that pent up energy and anxiety has to be released guys – in holding onto it, we set ourselves up for a lovely panic attack – which I know we don’t want. Just let it out, there doesn’t need to be a reason why. I cried for a good couple of minutes, and that was all I needed. I know the me tomorrow will thank me for it, when I wake up feeling more energised and less anxious.

Wrote this 

There is a real power in putting words to the page. Never underestimate writing as therapy – it is why us wellness folk swear by our journaling. When we write, we are literally pouring the words and thoughts and worries from our minds, out onto the pages – leaving behind a much clearer mental state than before. Then, we can work on filling our mind back up with beliefs and thoughts that truly serve us – this is where gratitudes and affirmations come to play. You cannot be anxious and grateful at the same time. Empty out those worried minds and replace your thoughts with positivity.

I have so much more where this came from and am excited to be co-hosting Transcending Anxiety Live in September – a full day workshop dedicated to managing your anxiety. You can find out more information and register your spot here.

P.S I don’t often ask for my posts to be shared, however this is an important one to me. Please share this post with anyone you know who suffers anxiety and let them know they are not alone.